whah? i'm normal? heheh why?

You Are 70% Normal (Really Normal)

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

faith cannot be broken,
only abandoned.

it rose - blistered
my dreams into unfathomable jolts
of mismatched orientations.
i stood up and wandered
relentlessly through the corridors;
dammit. i hate mornings.

i stepped out into the yard
and found no one there;
funny, i thought 'twas a wednesday.

seethingly unethical, i
foraged through the kitchen.
found nothing but pizza scraps,
last week's sour kraut.
my dead fish in a salad bowl.
i flinched.
darn mornings.

things i realized the past week was more than just enlightening. they were embarassing, humiliating and down-right nasty. take last night for example. i was a tad horny so i started texting people. these are a few of the reactions i got:

1: i am at the seminary trying to find inner peace. thanks for ruining my night.
2: talaga? are you sure? si... ito?
3: seryoso ka?
4: sino ka? i'm tracing people kasi.
5: sana anjan ako LOL
6: (tons of quotations)

oh, and one friend from highschool kept badgering me about a giving him a textmate. he was literally shouting at me for being tardy in answering back. let's just say we're not friends anymore.

then i got to thinking when i woke up this morning. what the hell was i texting these people for? just 'cause i had an itch in the crotch doesn't give me the privilege to invade their lives. dammit. conscience kicking in.
this morning, i started deleting numbers. lots and lots of numbers. even those people i've grown fond of. i mean, what's the point?

sa kamatayan lamang tayo
tunay na nakahahanap
ng ligaya't pagkakakligtas.
sa pagkakaluwal mula sa sinapupunan,
buhay na maramot ang unang sumasalubong sa atin;
ang kanlungang tahimik, basa at masikip
na siyang magbigay-katiyakan ng lahat
ay pilit inaagaw ng liwanag na nagmumula
sa siwang ng kapusukan at pagniniig ng puso.
tanging sa pag-agos ng nakalalasong tubig
ang siyang nakapagliligtas.

'pag ako'y namatay
ito ang gusto ko:

ayoko ng umiiyak;
gusto ko yung masaya.

gusto ko ng kamatayang nirapido;
ayoko iyong matagal at masalimuot.

gusto ko'y may musiko, mabagal na paghahatid;
ayoko ng mga de-kotse tsaka minabilis.

mas masarap siguro kung madaming nakikiramay
tsaka baha ang kape't biskwit.

tapos mas okey kung lahat
nakaitim, naghihinagpis.

okey di ba? pero, namputsa
sinong niloko ko?
gusto ko yung madaming umiiyak
para alam kong minahal ako ng iba;
gusto ko yung mabilis lang
(takot kasi ako sa dilim).
mas okey yung minadaling libing
para di nila ako ma-miss;
mas maganda din sa akin
kung wala nang burol;
baka mamaho pa ang bahay.

kapag ako'y namatay,
ito ang gusto ko:
gusto ko nandito ka sa tabi ko
para hindi ako matakot
pumikit at hagkan ka
sa huling pagkakataon.