TO MY BATCH MATANGLAWIN

I feel that it is fitting that I post this today, New Year's Eve. Dapat ipapabasa ito sa inyo sa dedication, pero baka di na nila payagang basahin.

---

It has been more than a year after I had left the confines of First Asia I have worked for. True enough, I would be hypocritical if I say that I don’t miss holding classes in the lab, doing meetings with my LH kids, talking over campus radio, and having casual talks with my teachers and friends. Although I was indeed depressed for a few months, the challenge that was set before me was also an opportunity for reflection and gauging of actual self-worth.

Marami akong natutunan sa pakikisalamuha sa mga estudyante ng FAITH. In the end, I realised that although not everyone could be trusted, a lot of you are truly dedicated to the craft and the vocation that we have chosen to take. As communicators, we must stay true to the reality that we have been chosen to become vanguards of truth and freedom.

Now that Batch Matanglawin is set to graduate, the batch I entered FAITH with, it feels nostalgic to go back and contemplate about everything that had happened. I initially intended to use this to clarify some stuff, kaya lang, para saan pa? Let bygones be bygones. Tapos na eh. This is not about me; this is about you, kids.

That first day of “class” that I had with you kids was diagnostic of sorts. As I remember, the Sulyap class was very pivotal in determining the track I knew most of you kids would take. As the pioneer batch was riddled in their freshman year with training for corporate communications, I knew from Day One that yours was a production batch.

Edz came to me a few months ago, asking if I could write something for you guys on your recognition day. Either way, I would have written something for you anyway. I think it is what’s due.

***

JAYVEE. Ikaw ang ekstensyon ng obsessive-compulsive na ako. I admire your organising skills and your dedication to the craft. Gamitin mo ang galing sa pagsusulat at sa pagsasayaw to inspire you to do better. With all my heart, I know you will find love somewhere along the way. Continue to being the leader that you are.

FAYE. You need to become a copywriter for an ad company, ‘nak. Your materials are divine, and your approach is bitchy and sweet at the same time. Try to lessen the sudden bursts of emotion; tagilid tayo jan. wag ma-in-love agad-agad. Weigh your options. And by the way, remember that time sa Cyberhub, nung “nagbalik-loob” ako sa inyo, you were there to hug me and shed tears of joy to welcome me back – kayo ni Jayvee. You don’t know how much that meant to me. So I am telling you now… Thank you for being there for me, ‘nak.

PAEL. Alam ng lahat na sa buong batch, ikaw ang hinulma ko para maging isa sa mga pinakaprangka, pinakamagaling sa production. I chose you because I knew that you had it in you. All I had to do was to let it all out. And although nagkamali ako later sa ibang batches when it came to choosing the people to train, I still firmly believe you got what it takes. A couple of things though. Remember to keep your pie trap shut when it is due. You have a tendency to become tactless. Remember that first time sa Cinemalaya? You were a freshman, barely introduced to Comm Theories, and you were already commenting on the entries. Nainis ako sa ‘yo that time, but you made me smile as well. Kasi alam ko, given the training, you would do great. And you proved me right.

YVETTE. Anlakas ng tawa ko nung tinawag mo akong “chever” during one of the classes. Natawa ako kasi nakalimutan mo ang pangalan ko, although deep inside natakot din ako; was I that forgettable? I love our small talks, yung bigla ka na lang tatawag ng chever; priceless yun for me. You are among those who never got comfortable calling me TATAY. But I knew you respected me. And that meant a lot. Oo na, sexy ka na. Pagbigyan na at baka maglupage pag hindi ko sinabi.

PATTY. Sophomore year you told me you were having second thoughts of continuing the course. Two years after, eto na; graduating ka na. Congratulatons, anak. Alam ko naman na press release lang na hindi ka na tutuloy. Kasi alam kong kaya mong tapusin. Kahit ilang beses ka pang magpabalik-balik sa Lipa dahil nakalimutan mo ang ID mo, hindi ka sumuko. That merits respect from me. Continue to push yourself and you will achieve what you dream. Regards kay Mayor Luis.

DEXTER. One time, during a fieldtrip, nagkita-kita kayo and my former students from Lyceum. The Lycean mob of kids hugged me like hell, and I saw your expression, sabay sabi “Sana kami din, ganun sa inyo pagdating ng araw.” Ngayon ko sinasabi sa iyo, Dex. Sana nga ganun din kayo pagdating ng araw. Your dedication to absorb music trivia, engross on entertainment and reading, amaze me. Kapit lang. dalawa ang tatay mo sa buhay.

MAE. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mala-Tiboli mong tingin kay Celine LOL truly those moments are the best, lalo na pag nasa production tapos naglolokohan during the breaks. Pero alam mo nak, do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do anything, because you can, once you put your mind to it. I know you; I know what you can do. Mabilis kang kumilos, tumatakbo, nagsusulat, at higit sa lahat, masarap kunan ng photo dahil PAK ang mga pose mo, ineng.

JOSIE. Always remember what your father says: magdamit ka naman ng mini-skirt paminsan-minsan. You have grown into a sprightly young woman; be happy for the changes. Welcome them with open arms. Bear in mind that you have to speak your heart out. Wag mahiya.

MAJO. I am proud of the work you do in church; magandang simulain yan, nak. I would like to commend you for always taking the initiative – go paper coordination committee! I am happy that your lovelife is in full swing, and happier that you are starting to find your niche in the batch. Mas bagay sa iyo ang kulot.

KHIM. Dear Madame President, I would like to thank you for the professionalism that you have shown in dealing with me and the rest of the teachers. Very good ka dun nak. But more than that, salamat sa respeto na ipinakita mo sa akin, at dahil ipinaglaban mo din ako. Dama ko ang concern anak. Salamat po.

KHRIZZY. Although lagi ka nilang niloloko na mukhang pusa, advantage yun nak. Tandaan mo, maganda ka. Matalino. Just be careful with enunciation, consonants and syllables. Ang mundo ay hindi isang malaking oratorical competition anak. Your delivery is great as it is; no need to over-modulate. Peace tayo hehe

CELINE. I know it took some time for you to transition, from IT to BAC, but I am very proud to say that you already have. Salamat sa tiwala at pagtitiis, ‘nak. Kitang-kita ko ang pagod ninyong lahat for the productions that you did for my class and every other project we had. Salamat kasi hanggang sa huli, kinakausap mo ako. Yung iba kasi, lumayo na lang ng hindi nagpapaalam. Hindi mo ako iniwan anak. Thank you for that.

RALPH. I had doubts when you came into my office. You were this sly guy who was looking to transfer from Nursing, and frankly, I thought mas bagay ka sa Tourism. Pero you proved me wrong. Nung magsimula kang magrolyo ng kable at mag-konek ng mga speakers, I was impressed. Your knowledge of production skillsets has amazed me time and again. Bawasan ang vanity sa katawan ha? Pogi ka na, mabait ka pa. Tapos maabilidad ka. OK nay un. I wish you happiness in your life.

JANINE. At dahil ayaw umamin si Dexter na in-love sya sa iyo, ako na lang magsasabi dito. I love the way you express yourself, your sarcastic tact when we have our small talks at the canteen. Masaya ako kasi may personality ka na lutang na lutang from the rest. Just continue with it. I have a student working in Korea; tell me if you want to touch-base with them there. Malay mo, makapagtrabaho ka dun.

JEN. At dahil magaling kang mag-split in mid-air, isang bonggang CONGRATULATIONS sa iyo anak. You are a testament to the word “transition” after having managed to fully transcend from BSN to BAC. I am very happy that your Mom decided to shift you to the department. You have blossomed into a good-natured lady who knows what she wants. Magaling ka mag-coordinate, magaling mag-conceptualise, at magaling makisama. These are elements that will get you places in the industry. See you in New York.

DARLENE. Dark and twisted your thoughts may be, you are one of the sweetest people I have ever met. Salamat for choosing to stay and finish the course. Salamat dahil ilang beses kang lumuha para sa akin; pero shed no tears for me anak. I had my faults as well. Hindi po ako perpekto. Pero salamat kasi tinanggap mo pa din po ako ng buong-buo. Hindi lang bilang guro mo, kundi bilang isang tao.

JOAN. Pinahuli talaga kita. Kasi wala akong masabi. Keme lang, ‘nak. Ikaw na siguro ang pinaka-baklang babaeng nakilala ko sa FAITH. And I am privileged to have been your teacher. Maabilidad ka, anak. Marunong ka sa buhay, marunong ka magmahal, hindi ka natatakot masaktan. Tama yan. Alam ko, given the opportunity, malayo ang mararating mo, anak. Sobra.

***

To the batch that started editing movies as early as their freshman year;

To you who have helped me produce FRANTIC and my lolo’s internment video;

To the batch that almost killed me for MAMMA MIA, but called me up at home kahit na nasa gitna ako ng family crisis just to update me with the current situation;

To the batch that became sad when I went astray;

To the batch that was there when I recollected my soul and found the right path;

To Batch Matanglawin, malayo man ang Singapore, malapit naman ang puso ko. See you around, kids.

25 THINGS I MISS ABOUT MY PINOY CHRISTMAS

1. My mom's macaroni salad

2. My dad's humba

3. Gifts my folks used to put in socks under the tree

4. Christmas songs played on the radio starting Sept 1

5. Confessions on Christmas Eve

6. Strolling along the streets of Lipa after Simbang Gabi

7. Drinking till dawn with my cousins at my lola’s crib

8. Videoke madness

9. Sparklers lit when Christmas dawns

10. Running to my lola’s house for the annual reunion after the Christmas morning mass

11. Going around the barangay, knocking on aunts and uncles’ gates, asking for aguinaldo

12. Counting the aguinaldo by lunchtime

13. Playing Pinoy Henio after the clan’s luncheon feast

14. The noisy neighbours who party till dawn and drink like Vikings

15. My lolo’s tuna afritada

16. Sharing cigarettes and moking with my brother and cousins

17. Giving and receiving gifts to and from my lovely aunts

18. My Ninang Ten’s French musings and Ninong Nikko’s discussion of European economics

19. My lola’s smiling eyes whenever she sees all her grown-up grandchildren playing like little toddlers

20. Tita Sony’s lundres

21. Ninang Yna’s Cathedral Jelly

22. Tita Bhong’s prayers over the meals

23. Sleeping in my lola’s bed with Carla and Grace

24. Seeing all the other relatives, laughing at silly green jokes

25. Ninong Romy callng then Inay starts to cry while she laughs.

Iba ang Pasko sa ‘Pinas.

THE PEDANTIC SERIES (Essay 2)
Technology-Transfer and the Real Fruit of the Matter
by Caloy Peña, MDS

If technology then, thus by far bringing convenience, sassy logic and effectiveness in understanding messages, is meant to be exclusive for the privileged few, what use has it to better the life of the common man? Should not innovations and discoveries be meant to abate the plight of the mass instead of exhault the status of the oligarchic class whose power and money is in themselves widening the socio-economic benefits gap?

The few who believe that technology's pricetag is an evil that needs to be blindly accepted are furthering the concept of underdevelopment – lauding the few who have a grasp of the resource at the expense of the many – and then asking everyone else to label it as an innovation that saved the world, bringing forth convenienc, better access and magnanimous technological achievement, when all the while it is as much a marketing scheme as any other service out in the buyer's landscape.

What good then does it bring to us? An assuring statement for the ones who can afford that they are untouchable, exclusive and or unique - to the point that the following has become a tribe in itself, cultish to a point yet denying from itself that it is. Funy how the world – at least those who can afford to back it up – have labelled such technological feats as mind-blowingly pivotal to the current epoch that we have.

Succombing to it all is everyone else who have forgotten the bigger issues – technology-transfer, adaptation to the Internet's vast resource to accommodate the disenfranchised, relief from the disparity caused by technology itself. Funnier still is the fact that we have equivocally labeled such an endeavour as visionary. It may have indeed been visionary to have found better ways to deliver information and to communicate, but there is nothing laudable with widening the ravine between those who cannot afford nor access the technology from those who can. In the end, those who can merely shrug their shoulders and blame everything as a function of economics.

True, it may be such a function, but instead of the snooty reprise of it all, shouldn't there have been efforts to create bridges to makes the ideas available to everyone? We are reminded of the Hole in the Wall internet project in India, where computers were placed on the other side of a wall's hole and then gave free internet access to passers-by, anchoring on man's intuitive nature to discover things on his own.

It definitely is not as bad as it can be, correct. True enough, the advances in technology have paved the way for better access, mobility and informatiion sharing, but sadly, this is true only for those who cnan afford it. What of those who cannot? What then awaits them, as technology after another pile up and are launched to serve those who have greater access, resources and schema? To many then, we see a dimmer future, unless true technology-transfer avenues are created. Question is, though, will anyone actually create the avenues if they know that by doing so, they'll lose mileage, marketing, the following, and more importantly, the Benjamins?

THE PEDANTIC
by Caloy Peña, MDS


I turned off the lights and closed the door behind me. It was a first for tonight, leaving the solace of my room to take a quick puff and buy some juice for myself. The night has succombed to the frivolities of the streets – people drinking to their hearts content as they poured their guts out to women who were more interested in the thickness of their leather wallets rather than the proclivities the men were fantasizing about; the rushing cars and roaring buses that came from everywhere; the neonlights whose hieroglyphics would have been a wonder for scholastic ponderance a mile over.

I walked down the dimly lit flight of stairs, wondering where my feet would lead me tonight, other than those streets that welcomed lost souls for the remainder of twilight, and yet were too vicious, nay, too vicarious to even care about what would happen to everyone else who dared to cross her paths.

I trodded the tiled streets, past the sumptious aroma of steamed everything, trying to focus on the task of the night – to grab a mug of juice and do a few Malboros. I paid the man his worth of rose essence and led myself through the stations upon stations of succulence, asking myself whether it was right or insane to actually feed myself at this time of day. I would eventually accept the night's challenge for a meal, after I have satisfied myself of the sights and sounds of the streets that ate many who have lost their way and found themselves at the fork on the road that led to one lesser evil after another. I thought for a while and asked myself whether I was to meet the same fate. I shrugged and could not care less.

***

It took me less than a minute to work my way through the ill-fated, red-cheeked men and women who lined up the al fresco of my side of the street. The smell of beer, puke and overly-sprayed parfum violated my nostrils but I took little regard. I was not part of these streets to begin with; I was merely passing by.

I lit my first stick and looked around while I took sips of rose essence. From the faint shadows that sat on the makeshift meadow that greated the massive public transport system that scoured this entire island, I saw people – dark people. They were talking in a foreign tongue - too foreign for another foreigner to actually make sense – and yet it all made perfect sense to me. People pass me by, singing tunes they knew by heart, while some played electronic games on their devices that broke them even further from the society that they were once part of but now has reduced them to mere consumers of digitized information that in the first place doesn't matter nor signify any palpable co-insurance to be regarded as a tangent existence.

They sat there by three's and four's, laughing heartily, naming places that were as new to me and yet felt familiar and homy at the same time. I felt drawn into the conversation that sounded too ancient, and yet at a point, the green and red neon lights made more sense to me than their gab.

I stood there, amazed by how disdainly disconnected and yet startlingly affined to everything that I saw – the neon lights, the seated shadows, the noise, the street, the lack of connection of them all to each other and the surprising relation they still fostered amongst all the chaos. Beautiful chaos.

Rooted to the poor excuse for earth that I stood on, resembling more of a sandpit than actual muddy ground, I took a 360 perspective of the details that unfolded before me: women scantily clad in bright hues that were scientificaaly proven to attracted babies because of their effects on their impressionistic brains; men drunk or cheeky or both, siting beside and across women who couldn't care less but had to stay anyway; table cleaners who spent an eternity of the whole day taking about everyone else's rubbish but forgetting that they too had their own to clear up back home; the men and women who alight from public transport, from private vehicles, from their lives just for the night; the giant red lips and the sorry excuse for a champagne saucer that looked more like a goblet; the vindictive eyes that stared at me for a nanosecond, asking themselves why I had a perplexed look on my face.

I jeered at myself and took a few deep puffs on my Malboro and started my way back to the house, passing by the same men, the same putrid scents that violated and yet calmed the soul, the same neon lights that flickered endlessly when you closed your eyes, the same stares that seemed as perplexed as mine. I did not dare look back, lest I intended to be drawn into their invitation. I was not in any accordance to entertain the thought.

Climbing up the stairs have proven as herculean as it was climbing down. The steep incline was a veritable justification for the solace they held at the top of the flight. One by one, I took my steps, counting on not plunging into an immensely humiliating doom of slipping and then bumping my cranium unto every last ghastly step that reminded me of old houses, old memories, old people I knew, loved and missed. It was painstaking to even dare to take the steps, but solace was not offered downstairs. It was high above the third storey; I had no choice but to comply.

***

I closed the door behind me and slid back into the respite of the room I called sanctuary from the bustle of the night's fangs and pangs. I took my last few sips of the rose essence I bought for a dollar something, and started gobbling up the rice meal I paid to the lady who spoke little but understandable English, compared to that other lady I once bought soya milk from, whom after minutes of misunderstanding each other, ended the conversation with a blunt remark of myself being foreign, which equated to being misunderstood most of the time.

The cold air in my recluse calmed me as I started to pen my thoughts. It was midnight, and the pedantic in me took over yet again.

STUCK IN THE OFFICE.
EMAILING A 200Mb FILE FOR THE PRINTERS.

:(

COLOUR WHEEL NIGHT

bed cover = green & mint green
shorts = orange & white stripes
shirt = purple yam
blanket = every other colour in the colour wheel
^ nuknukan ng makulay ang bahagi ko ng kwarto. LOL

WORKING IN AN OFFICE FILLED WITH WOMEN IS SOOO DIFFICULT.
haay :(

hanggang ngayon, pinag-uusapan nyo pa din ako? naman LOL nagtuturo pa ba kayo o tambay lang jan? heheh

oo, na-reject ako sa la salle. kasi ayaw sa akin ng HRD head. pero the dean reiterated that they needed someone like me to handle the production courses.

oo, natanggap ako sa letran calamba, pero ni-reject ko kasi anliit ng offer. pero mind you, 2 days lang ang processing ko. at in 2 days, may contract na ako, signed by the president. at sobrang bait ng mga taga-letran sa akin. pati si ate guard :)

oo, nag-apply ako sa call centres but i turned them down kasi ambaba ng offer.

at oo, nagpapasalamat ako that i missed all those jobs kasi kung hindi, wala ako ngayon dito sa SINGAPORE at nagtatrabaho bilang MAGAZINE EDITOR.

oo, ok lang na pag-usapan nyo ako :) at least nakakabayad nako sa utang, nakakabili ng lahat ng gusto ko at nabibigyang-ginhawa ang asawa at anak ko. so HAPPY pa din ako. kayo ba happy? LOL

Happy birthday, caffeinejunkitsune.
I know; I owe you.

mga natutunan ko dito sa singapore makalipas ang anim na buwan

1.bawal ang malambot ang puso. kakainin ka nang buhay.
2.bawal ang makaramdam ng loyalty sa kumpanya. ok lang magpalipat-lipat ng kumpanya. kasi gawain ng lokal dito yan.
3.bawal ang maging magalang. kasi babastusin ka, kailangan laging maangas.
4.bawal ang sincere. kasi lahat naman hindi.
5.kahit na mabait ang boss, magulang pa din yan. hahanap ng pagkakataon para utakan ka.
6.bawal magtiwala ng lubusan. low crime rates is not zero crime rate.
7.pera-pera lang lahat ang usapan. mas ok na yung boss na naninigaw, basta binabayaran ka nang tama, kesa sa boss na mabait pero kulang ka naman sa benefits.
8.bawal ang mabait. kailangan palaban ka.
9.bawal ang mahina ang katawan. mahal ang gamot. mamamatay ka nang dilat.
10.mag-destress kung kailangan. kasi nakakapagod ang trabaho mo.

#nakakaloka ang singapore

kung mag-freelance ka sa amin, siguraduhin mo kaya mo. hindi yung binabato mo sa akin trabaho mo kasi hindi mo naman pala kaya or dahil takot ka.

tang ina mo. ambobo mo.

my tumblog gets a new face. not bad :)

for the past few days, i've been feeling down. tons of work in the office, tapos stressed out pa kasi parang things weren't falling into place.

sa trabaho, mababa ang morale ng mga tao kasi parang the boss wants something, tapos pag binigay mo yung best mo for the job, para i-neglect kami, in favor of one of the resignees. in all, parang napapagod na kami... ako... to the point na nag-iisip na akong bumili ng ticket pauwi at magtinda na lang sa bayan (bakit hindi? nung christmas last year, naka-20k ako isang araw LOLZ).

and so last night, i asked myself, kaya ko pa ba. kaya ko bang tiisin? o dapat itaguyod ang pride? honestly, i thought long and hard; then i came to the conclusion that i am in singapore for one reason: nangako ako sa mag-ina ko na bibigyan ko sila ng maginhawang buhay.

kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko, kailangan ko mag-stay. kahit ilang months pa. para man lang makabawas ng utang, ng bayarin, ng kahihiyan. i told myself, pride doesn't matter; my child's education does. i have tons of bills to pay (awa ng Dyos, matatapos na yung isa; 3 to go). after nuon, better horizons naman. tapusin ang PhD, kumita ng limpak.

pero right now, kailangan huminahon at tanggapin ang katotohanang OFW ako. alila. chimoy. chimi-aa. longkatuts. kahit na ano pang posisyon ang itawag sa akin, o ikabit sa pangalan ko, iisa pa din ang papatakan - dayuhan ako dito. at dahil dayuhan ako, bawas ang karapatan ko. kaya dapat, go with the flow.

so today, gumising ako ng naka-smile. tapos habang naliligo ako, sabi ko sa sarili ko, "happy thoughts, happy thoughts..."

sa bus interchange nga, nakakita ako ng mag-asawa. nagkiss bago magpaalamanan. una lips to lips, tapos magkabilang beso, tapos nagdikit ang noo nila, nagtinginan eye-to-eye, tapos nag-iloveyou. aaminin ko, nangilid ang luha ko. i inhaled, and told myself, "dapat strong ka."

and so i went to work with a working brain and a smile on my face. happy thoughts, i told myself. and throughout the day, i was just laughing, sharing ideas, having a good time.

by the end of the day, sabi ni boss, "carlo, gawa ka ng bagong worksheets." i agreed, and told her i would do them after i buy the netbook which i planned to buy earlier this afternoon. sabi nya, the netbook is only advised for those who travel. at dahil sa office at bahay lang daw ako, i should invest on a laptop. sabi ko, wala ako pera. sabi nya, e di magpa-salary deduct daw ako.

tiningnan ko muna si ate (pinay na kasama ko sa opisina kung saan ako nakikitira ngayon). sabi nya, go! sayang. 2mos lang naman, bayad na yung lappie. so i agreed. we then went to funan IT mall. i chose this dell inspiron. napalunok ako sa conversion sa pesos (tulad ng asawa ko nung malaman nya kung magkano ang kuha ko dito), pero sa singapore dollar, pakiramdam ko, ang mura-mura. susme, S$800 na nga lang iPad2 dito.

kaya eto ako ngayon, equating happy thoughts with a happy day. sana bukas, happy day pa din. kasi i have two classes tomorrow. tapos across the country ang layo sa isa't isa. hindi ako nagbibiro. matindi-tinding happy thoughts ang kailangan tomorrow.

still here. hey.

HAPPY THOUGHTS = HAPPY DAYS

for the past few days, i've been feeling down. tons of work in the office, tapos stressed out pa kasi parang things weren't falling into place.

sa trabaho, mababa ang morale ng mga tao kasi parang the boss wants something, tapos pag binigay mo yung best mo for the job, para i-neglect kami, in favor of one of the resignees. in all, parang napapagod na kami... ako... to the point na nag-iisip na akong bumili ng ticket pauwi at magtinda na lang sa bayan (bakit hindi? nung christmas last year, naka-20k ako isang araw LOLZ).

and so last night, i asked myself, kaya ko pa ba. kaya ko bang tiisin? o dapat itaguyod ang pride? honestly, i thought long and hard; then i came to the conclusion that i am in singapore for one reason: nangako ako sa mag-ina ko na bibigyan ko sila ng maginhawang buhay.

kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko, kailangan ko mag-stay. kahit ilang months pa. para man lang makabawas ng utang, ng bayarin, ng kahihiyan. i told myself, pride doesn't matter; my child's education does. i have tons of bills to pay (awa ng Dyos, matatapos na yung isa; 3 to go). after nuon, better horizons naman. tapusin ang PhD, kumita ng limpak.

pero right now, kailangan huminahon at tanggapin ang katotohanang OFW ako. alila. chimoy. chimi-aa. longkatuts. kahit na ano pang posisyon ang itawag sa akin, o ikabit sa pangalan ko, iisa pa din ang papatakan - dayuhan ako dito. at dahil dayuhan ako, bawas ang karapatan ko. kaya dapat, go with the flow.

so today, gumising ako ng naka-smile. tapos habang naliligo ako, sabi ko sa sarili ko, "happy thoughts, happy thoughts..."

sa bus interchange nga, nakakita ako ng mag-asawa. nagkiss bago magpaalamanan. una lips to lips, tapos magkabilang beso, tapos nagdikit ang noo nila, nagtinginan eye-to-eye, tapos nag-iloveyou. aaminin ko, nangilid ang luha ko. i inhaled, and told myself, "dapat strong ka."

and so i went to work with a working brain and a smile on my face. happy thoughts, i told myself. and throughout the day, i was just laughing, sharing ideas, having a good time.

by the end of the day, sabi ni boss, "carlo, gawa ka ng bagong worksheets." i agreed, and told her i would do them after i buy the netbook which i planned to buy earlier this afternoon. sabi nya, the netbook is only advised for those who travel. at dahil sa office at bahay lang daw ako, i should invest on a laptop. sabi ko, wala ako pera. sabi nya, e di magpa-salary deduct daw ako.

tiningnan ko muna si ate (pinay na kasama ko sa opisina kung saan ako nakikitira ngayon). sabi nya, go! sayang. 2mos lang naman, bayad na yung lappie. so i agreed. we then went to funan IT mall. i chose this dell inspiron. napalunok ako sa conversion sa pesos (tulad ng asawa ko nung malaman nya kung magkano ang kuha ko dito), pero sa singapore dollar, pakiramdam ko, ang mura-mura. susme, S$800 na nga lang iPad2 dito.

kaya eto ako ngayon, equating happy thoughts with a happy day. sana bukas, happy day pa din. kasi i have two classes tomorrow. tapos across the country ang layo sa isa't isa. hindi ako nagbibiro. matindi-tinding happy thoughts ang kailangan tomorrow.

still here. hey.

a hungry man is an angry man.

***
a neglected man has an angry bird.
LOL

still here. hey.

HITTING THE TIDE STRONG: FISHING TRIP TO MALAYSIA DAY 1

i got up at around 3am on the 18th. twas time to prep up for the trip. i got my stuff together the night before, so pretty much, all i needed to do was bathe, grab breakfast and go to the rendezvous point. ate nannette and kuya bong (whose house i bunk in with currently) were already up by that time, fixing the stuff they were bringing along for the trip - a 14' net, a long fishing rod, and their luggage. i was carrying my k-swiss backpack (a gift from my sister in exchange for the small house my wife and i left behind, which they now occupy). while waiting, i ate the last plate of noodles i made the night before.

by 3:45, we were already flagging cabs at the void deck. a few minutes after, we were on our way to bedok reservoir to meet with another guy who was joining us on the trip. at his block, our taxi stopped. we alighted, and took our stuff out of the trunk. at around 4am, this seasoned fisherman comes down with his fishing rods at one hand, and a strolled cooler on the other. his name was max, was turning 60 in a matter of moths, and was originally from taiwan. he was a PR (permanent resident), like the couple i stay with now. by the second day, he would tell me about his exploits as a child in taiwan, and how he started fishing when he was six years old.

by 4.30, this starex royale rolls over and out comes uncle heng (the man who organized the fishing trip) and his son, who was behind the wheel. we loaded up our stuff on the van, and uncle heng handed us malaysian embarkation cards to fill out. we decided to write down on the cards when we reached our boss' house, so we moved out of bedok and drove to serangoon (unfamiliar? please download an SG MRT map). we arrived at the landed property by 5.30am and my boss had just waken up. her husband, an accountant, was by the gates in a matter of minutes, after uncle heng rang the doorbell. by 6am, we were on our way to woodlands, to crossover to malaysia via johor baru.

OFF TO MALAYSIA
after passing through the immigrations at singapore, the next checkpoint was at JB. we had to get off the van to have our index fingers scanned (yes, both at the same time; and not just the tip - the whole finger) on portable scanners at the immigration counters. it amazed me that they aside from the stamps they put on your passport, they also use stickers on the passports, with codes similar to when you buys apps on the app market.

our first stop was a hawker centre. we were waiting for the toilet to open (which apparently was available only at one of the shops which opened at 7am), so we went for breakfast. we were treated to pork porridge, with aromatic sesame oil. we had some yu tiao (flour fritters), which resembled bitso minus the sugar. i ordered a glass of te-oh (tea with milk). the hawker centre was in the middle of the public market, and it reminded me of home.

by 7.30am, the shop was open and so people started queueing up for the toilet. as i was the third person to go in, i tried looking around the shop first, wondering whether there was something neat to buy. and indeed there was. guess... i bought some deodorant. why? because it only cost me RM6 (around S$2.40). compared to the local singapore price of deo (which is about S$4.50), it was cheap. i also bought some peppermint lozenges.

it took us a good two hours to travel from JB to tanjong leman, while taking notice of the remnants of WWII that lined up the roads, not to mention the dozens upon dozens of palm trees that created the whole lush scenery of the trip. but mind you, although i was enjoying the trip, and smelling the palm oil in the air (since there were nearby processing plants), it fascinated and disturbed me that i couldn't see any other type of tree as dominant in numbers as the palm tree (i guess that would be attributed to the high demand for palm oil, which comes from malaysia). twas like every corner, nook and crany was planted wit palm trees.

AT THE WHARF
we reached the wharf at around 10am, and we meet wilmer who would become our boatman for the next two days. on his jetty (speed board ferry), we loaded up our stuff, put on our life jackets, and sailed, err sped off (although we did pee first before hopping on the boat).

the boat ride was about 40minutes, with the boat cutting across the waters like a hot knife on butter. we were getting wet, the waves were kinda strong, and the tides were high. little did we know though, that there was more to the trip than just the waves and the tides.

TO BE CONTINUED...

my daughter is 3.5yo, and she is in nursery.
her classes start at 10.30am and end by 12.30pm
this is her weekly schedule.

MONDAY
language, reading, GMRC

TUESDAY
language, reading, writing, music

WEDNESDAY
science, math, arts, playtime

THURSDAY
science, math, writing

FRIDAY
sibika (social sciences), filipino, PE

***
now i'm starting to wonder whether my kid is indeed in nursery, or is she taking up a bachelor's degree LOL and people say i pressure my kid too much *smirk talk about tough love. ang hirap nang mag-aral ngayon. advance na masyado.

still here. hey.

ich bin geil heute.

오늘은 호색한입니다.

eu sou tesão hoje.

estoy caliente hoy.

ako ay masungay ngayon.

dahil araw ng kalayaan ngayon, basahin natin ang mga comments ng ilang singaporeans hinggil sa katatapos pa lamang na paghatol sa 2 pinoy na nangholdap ng burger king outlet dito.

From TAK BOLEH TAHAN: “Maybe the pinoys thought ‘S’ pass stand for Stealing Pass.. Govt should jail & cane their ass.. and send them back to their country..
to MOM.. pls wake up your bloody f@#&ing idea when issue those passes to foreigners. just don’t blindly follow pap instruction..”

From MY 2 DING DONG: “Nowadays very difficult to differentiate between a pinnoy & our Singaporean Malay friends…Luckily some of our Singaporean Malay ladies got wear tudungs as for others, I just wait for them to open their mouth to hear their accent & tagalog…Moreover, these pinnoys bring their old father, old mother to stay in Sinkapore, become PR. Walau eh, like that also can pass immigration.”

From NO TO PINOY: “These Pinoys are TRASH. Filipino FT = FT TRASH. TRASH TRASH TRASH that’s what they are!!! I have nothing more to say about them!”

From SINKIE IN USA: “These Pinoy trashes are the same everywhere, be it in Asia, Europe, N. America. currently living in Seattle, Washington (US) for a couple of years, I have seen their TRUE COLORS… Pinoys are superficially nice/friendly to you, but behind your backs they bitch about you, and many claim to be ‘Catholics’. they will be EXTRA friendy/courteous to white-boys (caucasians), and will bend over to please white boys, simply because they are white. for many of them, their ultimate goal in life is to hitch a white-boy, even if he is old and ugly. but if you are “Asian” (Chinese-American, Korean-American, Japanese-American) or simply oriental-looking they give you the evil/jealous eyes…WHY?? because most ‘oriental-looking’ Asians are much more successful (hardwork ethics + intellect) in US, having professional jobs (doctors, lawyers, accountants, business entrepreneur) and have kids who are smart, educated in Ivy League…sick of seeing their superficial behaviour, which is evident in several malls (Macy’s), Walmart, Starbucks and fast-food joints (Subway, Burger King, Tacbobell). even when we drive up north to Canada (British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario), we see the same consistent superficialness of attitudes and service, at malls (The Bay, Sears), fast-food joints like Tim Horten’s, Wendy’s, Harvey’s.”

From KEN: “Told you pinoy men are CONMEN and pinoy women are WHORES… slowly but surely you guys will see it and agree with me. These people, their whole race should live in sewers and leave earth for us humans. Already tell white mafia to place more scrutinizing measures when they accept foreign thugs into the country but NOoooooo…….. as long as its foreign its good for them. Locals get robbed or cheated their problem, white mafia and foreign thugs buddies forever and ever.”

***

Dahil island-thinking sila, ang tingin nila sa lahat ng pinoy dito, magnanakaw, rapist at palamunin. o di ba ansaya maging foreign worker?

habang kausap ko ang may-ari ng imprenta, my boss' husband comes into the room and starts talking about the upcoming presidential elections

nagulat ako sa mga requirements ng pagka-pangulo dito. some of the more notable requirements:

1. kailangan CEO or COO ka ng several companies

2. kailangan S$100M ang net worth mo

3. kailangan may height ka, kasi sa APEC dapat kita ka among the other presidents.

*kabog. bawal ang mahirap na candidate. kasi para daw hindi na mangurakot. may punto sila.
pero kung sa pinas, malamang laman ka ng ABANTE. kasi ang tatakbo, dapat maka-masa LOL

habang kausap ko ang may-ari ng imprenta, my boss' husband comes into the room and starts talking about the upcoming presidential elections

nagulat ako sa mga requirements ng pagka-pangulo dito. some of the more notable requirements:

1. kailangan CEO or COO ka ng several companies

2. kailangan S$100M ang net worth mo

3. kailangan may height ka, kasi sa APEC dapat kita ka among the other presidents.

*kabog.

I WAS TALKING TO A FORMER COLLEAGUE A COUPLE OF MINUTES AGO.
she made me come back to the memories i had at the school i taught for close to three years, and then asked me to leave after a nasty rumor came out. she made me feel every ounce of rage i had for the people who stepped on me, every inch of insane sadness i felt when i stepped out of the gates and found out i could not teach again.

i am thankful to that colleague; she gave me more reasons to smile even more. she told me about how troubled she was for the past nights, thinking about the underlying sh** that was happening in school, and how she felt like hers was a lost cause. simply because she couldn't do anything to help anyone who needed to be helped - the students who were deprived of creative and ingenuitive thinking and learning, and the teachers who did not have ample academic freedom or at least a safe environment to think out loud, without being stoked or questioned or booted out.

i told her i was lucky i was asked to leave. eventually i realised that. because a place like that can suck you dry of your passion for everything - to teach, to care, to help, to explore, to rebuild, to generate ideas, to become your fullest potential. they just freakin' suck you dry of all the smiles you can share to other people: genuine smiles that can make another human being smile back. 'cause you're too damn tired, too boxed, to insanely undermined.

i am surprised they even call it liberal education, because there is nothing liberal about keeping kids' thoughts and potentials in a boxed world - making them think they are far better than everyone else, that they can be snotty and cocky about it - flambouyantly prancing in the streets, but in essence have no idea what the real world is actually made of.

i pity the kids i left behind. it's been close to a year and my publication kids have not issued a single publication; the magazine has been shelved for close to a year, and so all the news there is stale. the radio kids are back on air, but still just online; who listens online all the time in a developing country? oh well, i don't want to pry. it's not my school.

so i'm not posting this on tumblr. why? because most of the kids who have been so influenced by the powers that be that they are far better than everyone else (to the brink of developing a swollen head) might read it. and take it as a backstab. i don't backstab; real friends - teachers for that matter - stab you in the front (by oscar wilde). so i'm telling you, just watch your front.

still here.
finally with genuine smiles, after three years.
hey.

AKO: GAGO. TAO. GURO.

of all the crazy sh** i've done in my life, it's always refreshing to find the silver lining in the horizon every once in a while. back in october 2010, i thought it was the end of everything - i lost my job, almost lost my family, i lost personal respect, had no self-worth.

but i guess the Lord does have a way of making us see the bigger picture. a few months after, i took a risk and flew off to singapore. it's a helluva ride, but a good one nonetheless. i would be a hypocrite if i told you i am as stoic as a guy can get. quite the contrary. i burst into tears over no apparent reason; i sometimes miss home, get a homesickness attack, and you all know what happens next. sometimes i find myself trying to avoid the words "home" or "kid" or "love" because it just makes it even more difficult to bear than i am thousands of miles away from my wife and my kid. it hurts like sh** i tell u.

then again, tonight, i've realised that on top of the stupid things i did in my life, i actually did some things that were right on the money. a student of mine is getting a job in an airlines, and she comes back to me via FB with this PM:

"the interviewer asked me pano ko nagka accent..? nag enroll daw ba ko john robert powers??? taray tay ng sagot ko.. "nope sir..! i just series of trainings with mr. carlo venson.." then sabi "who is he?" "he's my mentor.. sir, u can't find him here.. he's in sg already.." sabi nalang nya "ohhhhh.. i see..."

my heart just jumped. ansarap palang malaman mo na minsan, kahit minsan, i actually touched people's lives and helped make a difference in them, for the better. i'd be lying if i told you i didn't feel a bit proud of myself. it was indeed my ego booster for the night. she was a student of mine, like 4 or 5 years ago?

a lot of stuff is happening in the office, here in the pad, in my life back home. tons of stuff piling on top of another. but i like it that at the end of the day, He makes me realise that i still have the capacity to become a good person, a better person, and help change people's lives for the better.

akala ko napakasama ko nang tao. hindi pala. there's actually a little bit of goodness still in this lil' ol' bastard.
still here. hey.

it's never been an easy life

because at the end of the day, you get to realise you can be so high-strung with a lot of things, they start to mess you up.
we all need a lee sometimes. problem is, finding one that actually is a lee and not just a diversion or a sorry excuse for one.

darn, i need a good cup of latte right about now.



still here.
hey.

threshold | cbp photography

MY PHOTOWHORE MOMENT FOR TODAY

ang mga babae sa buhay ni caloy

ngayong araw ng mga nanay, na hindi tulad ng mga nakalipas na mga nakaraan sapagkat ako'y wala sa aking bayang sinilangan, pangindapatin nyo akong batiing malugod ng may kasamang pasasalamat, ang mga babae - ina - na nagpakita at nangangaral sa akin hanggang sa kasalukuyan.

ang tita bhong, na nagturong ang paniniwala sa Dyos ang sagot sa lahat ng hirap ng buhay. na kailangang kumapit sa Kanya kahit na ano ang ibatong hamon ng panahon. salamat sa mata mong laging nakangiti, kahit alam ong marami kang kinakaharap na hilahil.salamat sa pag-endorso mo sa akin sa PVM para makakuha ako ng libreng pagsasanay sa paggamit ng computer nuong high school pa ako..

ang tita sonny, na kumakatawan sa tatag ng pusong marunong magpatawad, kahit gaano kasakit. ikaw ang nagpakita sa aking higit sa lahat, mahalaga ang mga anak, bago ang sarili. salamat sa pagbubukas mo ng bahay sa lahat ng dumarating. lalo na sa akin na malakas lumamon. salamat sa mga aklat na binili nyo para sa akin at kay ineng..

ang ninang lina, na huwaran ng pagpupursige at pagbibigay. kanlungan ng tawanan at iyakan ang tahanang masaya at buo; ito ang iyong isinabuhay na halimbawa. salamat sa pagbili ng voltron lions sa akin nuong ako ay 7 taong gulang pa lamang.hindi pa nakakaalis ang bus sa terminal ng BLTB Co. ay naiwala ko na agad ang isa.. el rojo el raiz el gloria..

ang ninang ten-ten, na nagturo sa aking uminom ng gin, magyosi at magsaya, pagdaka'y ang isakripisyo ang lahat ng saya para sa kasiyahan ng minamahal. ikaw ang aking huwaran - matatag, maganda, sexy (plus points), at sobra-sobrang magmahal. salamat sa kauna-unahang pakete ng malborong puti na binigay mo sa aking nuong una kang umuwi mula sa belgium. sana nasa iyo pa din ang larawang aking binurda...

ang aking ina,na sa nakalipas na mahigit 30 taon ay walang ginawa kundi pagsilbihan kaming lahat. tayong lahat. salamat sa pagtuturo mo sa akin ng kahalagahan ngpagmamahal sa trabaho - ang mga kwento mo tungkol sa pagtalon sa bakod, makapasok lang habang may rally sa labas, ang paggising mo ng alas-3 ng umaga para makapasok ng alas-4:30 sa batangas city (habang pinakikinggan ko ang lagutok ng iyong sapatos na mabilis na kumakaripas palabas ng barangay), ang muntikang panganganak mo sa banyo, ang pagtatrabaho sa gitna ng pagputok ng pinatubo, ang pagpapagawa mo ng bahay, ang pagbibigay sa amin ng lahat ng luho, ang pagtalikod mo sa sariling kaligayahan at sariling buhay dahil mahal mo kami. babawi ako, mommy. bigyan mo lang ako ng ilang taon, pangako hindi mo na kailangan mamalengke at mautusan.

ang aking biyenan na nagturo sa akin na tanggapin ang hamon ng buhay ng nakataas ang noo. kahit na mahirap, kahit na masakit, kasi pamilya ang nauuna.

ang pinakamamahal kong mga lola - elena at rufina. mamang, patawarin mo ako dahil hindi ako nakapunta. mahal na mahal ko po kayo. inay, ikaw na nagpapaligo sa akin sa lababo, ikaw na kahit walang-wala ay nagbibigay ng baon sa mga apo, ikaw na kahit pambili na ng gamot mo nakukuha mo pang ibili ng tosino o longganisang ihahain mo sa aming magugulo mong apo... alam kong alam nyo na huwaran ko kayo ng sipag. hindi ko kayang maglakad mula rosario hanggang ibaan, sakbit ang bunsong kapatid habang sunong ang palayok sa ulo. dose anyos pa lang kayo nuon, pero kinaya nyo. astig ka.

ang aking asawa, na sa kabila ng lahat ng pinagdaanan namin, mabuti o nakaririmarim, ay nanatiling nasa tabi ko - kahit na gaano kagago o katanga ang ilan sa mga naging desisyon ko sa buhay. ikaw ang buhay ko. ikaw ang ina ng aking anak at magiging anak (kailangan dahil hinahanap na ni ineng si gabriel; antagal daw lumabas). babawi ako sa kagaguhan ko, 'my. ibibigay ko sa iyo ang buhay na ipinangako ko sa 'yo. konting tiis, konting kapit pa. malapit napo.

***

sa aking mga ibang tiyahin at pinsan, mga kaibigan, kasama sa trabaho - sa inyo ay pinaaabot ko din ang aking pagbati. MALIGAYANG ARAW NG MGA INA. NG MGA BAYANI SA BUHAY KO.

photos today: 7 May 2011

WHEN LIFE IS A MESS, TELL IT TO FUKC OFF

My 350th blog in my 7-year old blogger account, and i have nothing but angst.
I guess i had it coming. Now he's even blamed me for it. I hate him.

My Only Pope

a year before i was born, a cardinal from poland became pope - 450 years after any non-italian cardinal ever held on the papacy. born karol jozef wojtyla, he became a soldier in ww1 and later entered priesthood.

growing up, he was the pope i knew and recognised. i would see him talking in the vatican, vaguely remember him meeting up with world leaders and religious icons of his and my time. pretty much i became comfort with the idea that i was going to live and die with him as my pope. and of course, i was dreaming. because by the time he became pope, JP2 (a coined term for his eminence) was in his 60s.

his reign as pope has got to be the most tumultuous of modern day pontiffs, with assasination plots here and there, the fall of communism, and the variety of issues that the Church went through, particularly in the case of child molestation cases that were flung unto the priesthood.

but he stood steadfast. and although i was not able to see him personally during the world youth day celebration in manila during the late 90s, i fervently watched him on TV, him riding a bullet-proof car with clear window panels, waving to the crowd. everyone was just ecstatic. and i was crying in front of the TV. he was my pope, and every day, he made everyone in the catholic faith that he too was man - and that God was there to listen to man, regardless of how insiduous and maniacal he becomes at times. JP2 was a man of God, and a man of love.

in 2005, JP2 died. the media coverage was insane. practically everyone paid respects to the man they called the communicator, having been the most travelled and most known of all modernday popes by all walks of life. he showed love by example, and peace through a lifestyle, and holiness that was not skin deep or anchored on societal requisites.

HE MADE ME UNDERSTAND THAT GOD WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME, AND FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW DUMBASS WE GET OR HOW INAPPROPRIATE ARE ACTIONS ARE. because God is not vengeful. God is love.

He does not judge, unlike most people we know.

***

AN EXCERPT FROM XINMSN.COM

Thousands of pilgrims thronged Rome on Saturday amid tight security, on the eve of a grand ceremony that the Vatican called a "Feast of Faith" to bring late pope John Paul II close to sainthood.

"May this feast of faith be a precious occasion to open the door to Christ," Pope Benedict XVI, who will president Sunday's ceremony, wrote in a message to Catholics around the world on the front page of the official Vatican newspaper. In an editorial, the Osservatore Romano daily called it "an extraordinary event without precedent in the last 1,000 years of the Church's history."

Excitement also began mounting among the crowds of faithful milling around the Vatican despite a persistent drizzle and the ubiquitous souvenir peddlers.

"I couldn't miss this, I had to be a part of such a historic moment. We've only just arrived but the atmosphere's great, it's really exciting," said Patricia Wocial, 48, who had come from Britain with her young daughters. The weekend of prayer, which experts say could help the Vatican burnish an image badly tarnished by paedophile priest scandals, will kick off later on Saturday with a vigil in the ancient Roman arena Circus Maximus.

At least 100,000 people are expected to attend the vigil starting at 1800 GMT on Saturday to hear those who were close to John Paul II speak, including his former personal secretary, Cardinal Stanislaw Dziwisz. Timetable: Pope John Paul II's beatification

Among the speakers will be Marie Simon-Pierre, the French nun whose miraculous healing from Parkinson's disease is the official justification for John Paul II's beatification after years of research by the Vatican. A second miracle is needed before John Paul II can be declared a saint.

While some pilgrims will then head off to bed before Sunday's beatification mass starting at 0800 GMT, others will take advantage of several churches in central Rome which are staying open all night to pray to the late pope. Some 500,000 pilgrims are expected for the beatification itself, which will confer the status of "blessed" on a pope who survived an assassination attempt and helped fight Communist rule during his nearly 27 years in office. John Paul became pope in 1978 -- the first non-Italian pope in more than four centuries. After 104 foreign trips and a pontificate that gave new strength to the Catholic Church, he died in 2005 following years of ill health.

The late pope's coffin has been brought out of its resting place in a crypt under Saint Peter's basilica, and a phial of John Paul's blood, drawn from him during his illness, has been prepared as a relic for veneration. The Vatican fast-tracked the beatification period after mourners at John Paul's funeral clamoured for him to be made a saint, drowning out critics who accused him of having ignored Church ills such as corruption and paedophilia.

One of the Vatican's fiercest critics, German theologian Hans Kung, said in an interview with La Repubblica daily that his reign was "authoritarian" adding: "He doesn't deserve to be presented to the faithful as an example." After Sunday's beatification mass, which will be led by Pope Benedict in front of Saint Peter's and shown on big screens in the surrounding area, pilgrims will be able to file past John Paul II's coffin in the basilica.

Among the attendees at the mass will be Italian President Giorgio Napolitano, Mexican President Felipe Calderon and Polish President Bronislaw Komorowski -- part of a large Polish delegation for the late Karol Wojtyla. Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, a liberation hero who has been widely condemned for human rights abuses, also landed in Rome on Saturday under a special exemption from a European Union travel ban to attend the ceremony.

***

so do i believe JP2 should eventually be canonized as a saint?i don't need to.
in my heart, my soul, he already is.

ELECTION FEVER: SMOULDERING HOT!

honestly, nagulat ako kasi i've met 30 or 40-something peeps here na never or once pa lamang nakakaboto.

and now that election fever is heating up, people are seeing more are attending the supposed opposition parties' rallies. nakakatuwa. pag tinanong mo dito kung ano ang mga partido for the elections, ang sagot ay PAP (the governing party) and opposition (which is around 3 or 4 other parties, all vaguely and simply dubbed as such). naalala ko tuloy sa pinas. opposition pero andaming partido (kaya kapag election, parang costume party ni rainbow brite & friends sa sobrang dami ng party colors LOL)

last night, close to 15,000 attended an opposition party in the aljunied grc. sa PAP, 1000 lang daw umattend. nakakagulat di ba? mukhang clean sweep for the opposition. hep hep hep. i did some eavesdropping and interviewing about that particular rally. magugulat ka sa mga sagot.

1. sabi ng isang kasamahan ko (who had her last day today btw), karamihan sa nagpunta for the rally ay sangkaterbang 'usi' lamang. in short, sumasagap lamang ng chismis. ang mga kuya at ate ay curious sa sasabihin ng opposition. susme, weeks before the election buzz, yung mga ministers pati yung PM, nasa talk shows - guesting. parang sa pinas, pag miting de abanse, andaming tao. kasi may artista, libreng pakain o libreng tambay.

2. according to witnesses, wala daw sense ang sinasabi ng ilang candidates. as in, they were just riding on the platform of the main players in their team. kumbaga, smile & wave to the crowd ang drama. o di ba, parang pinas lang!? some had no solid platforms too. all steam and no fire.

3. people are scared shit. yung kapatid ni boss, a teacher (therefore civil servant), believes that it is time for singapore to experience change through the opposition, PERO she will most likely vote for the ruling party. bakit? sige nga, isusugal mo ba ang nakagawian mong sistema? yung mga perks? yung laki ng benefits kahit maliit lang sweldo? nakakadalawang-isip di ba? eto pa. natatakot ang marami na kapag ang binoto nila ay opposition, malalaman ng government at pwede silang ikulong (which is not far-fetched kasi ang IC mo is connected to everything else. pag hindi ka nagbayad ng bills, simbilis ng kidlat, ma-trace ka nila); kaya gustuhin man nila bumoto, malamang hindi sila boboto.

4. people aren't comfortable to vote. some have never voted in their entire lives. sige nga, paano ka pipili kung since birth (referring to the current 18 year old kids), PAP lang ang partidong kilala mo. one can become doubting thomases of the opposition's capacity to lead. you have to understand that being part of the opposition, wala silang experience to run the government. the ruling party does.

5. people have become too lax when it comes to their suffrage. sabi nung kasama ko, buti na lang hindi contested ung grc namin; ayokong bumoto... ayokong mamili (malamang walang kalaban sa kanila. eh si lee kuan yew ang tumatakbong minister sa tanjong pagar. sige nga, kakalabanin mo ba ang taong bumuo ng kung ano ang singapore ngayon? sige nga!?). it's sad to note that younger s'poreans have lost the will to exercise their right to suffrage.

either way, it's going to be an interesting GE for singapore. still here. hey.

X-Men First Class: Watch How the Old Guys Play It Rough

x-men first class is showing here in singapore starting june 2. i can't wait. here are the prominently-featured mutants of this prequel. you have no idea how excited i am about the prequel.










CHARLES XAVIER


Xavier’s goals are to promote the peaceful affirmation of mutant rights, to mediate the co-existence of mutants and humans, to protect mutants from militant humans and to protect society from antagonistic mutants, including his old friend, the militant Magneto. To achieve these aims, he founded Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters (later named the Xavier Institute) to teach mutants to explore and control their powers.
Its first group of students were the original X-Men. Xavier's students consider him a visionary and often refer to their mission as "Xavier's dream". He is highly regarded by others in the Marvel universe, respected by various governments and trusted by several other superhero teams, including the Avengers and the Fantastic Four. However, he also has a manipulative streak which has resulted in several significant fallings-out with allies and students.
He often acts as a public advocate for mutant rights and is the authority most of the Marvel superhero community turns to for advice on mutants. Despite this, his status as a mutant himself and leader of the X-Men has only recently become public.









MAGNETO


Magneto was born Max Eisenhardt sometime in the late 1920s to a middle class German Jewish family whose father, Jakob Eisenhardt was a highly decorated World War I veteran.
Surviving discrimination and hardship during the Nazi rise to power, Kristallnacht, and the passing of the Nuremberg Laws, in 1939 Max and his family fled to Poland where they were captured during the German invasion of Poland and sent to the Warsaw Ghetto. Max and his family escaped the Ghetto, only to be betrayed and captured again.
His mother, father, and sister are executed and buried in a mass grave, but Max survived, possibly due to the manifestation of his powers. Escaping from the mass grave, he was ultimately captured yet again[16] and sent to Auschwitz, where he eventually became a Sonderkommando.
While at Auschwitz, Eisenhardt reunited with a Roma girl named Magda, with whom he had fallen in love when he was younger, and with whom he escaped the prison camp during the October 7th 1944 revolt. Following the war, he and Magda moved to the Ukrainian city of Vinnytsia, and Max adopted the name "Magnus". Magda and Magnus had a daughter named Anya, and lived uneventfully until one night when an angry mob burned down their home with Anya still inside. Enraged at the mob for preventing him from rescuing Anya, the young Magnus's powers manifested uncontrollably, killing the mob and destroying a part of the city.
Magda, terrified at Magnus' power, left him and later gave birth to the mutant twins Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch before walking away to die. Wanted by the authorities for the deaths and destruction in Vinnytsia, while searching for Magda, Magnus paid a Romanian forger George Odekirk, to create the cover identity of "Erik Lehnsherr the Sinte gypsy" for him.




MOIRA MACTAGGERT


Born Moira Kinross to Scottish parents, Moira MacTaggert was one of the world's leading authorities on genetic mutation, earning her a Nobel Prize for her work. She was the longest running human associate of the X-Men and was Professor Charles Xavier's colleague, confidante, and also once his fiancée, having met and fallen in love with him while they were postgraduates at Oxford University.
She ended their engagement when for reasons unknown she married her old flame, the late politician Joseph MacTaggert. Joe proved to be an abusive husband; Moira separated from him after he beat her into a week long coma and, as it is implied, raped her, leaving her pregnant. She kept her son's existence a secret, and when Joe refused her a divorce she allowed people to believe she was widowed.
She eventually created a Mutant Research Center on Muir Island, off the coast of Scotland. Moira was forced to contain and imprison her son Kevin, later called Proteus, when he developed reality warping abilities and severe psychosis. One of Moira's goals was to understand human/mutant genetics, in order to cure her son.





HAVOK


Havok generates powerful “plasma blasts”, an ability he has had difficulty controlling. He is the son of Corsair, the younger brother of the X-Men’s Cyclops and older brother of Vulcan. He often resents Cyclops’ authoritative attitude and reputation as a model X-Man.
In contrast, Havok and his longtime love interest Polaris have had a love/hate relationship with the team, often finding themselves roped into it. Both were also members of the 1990s-era Pentagon-sponsored mutant team X-Factor. After X-Factor disbanded, Havok starred in Mutant X, a series in which he explored a strange alternate reality. He has since returned to the X-Men, later taking over his father's role as leader of the Starjammers to bring Vulcan's reign over the Shi'ar to an end.
















MYSTIQUE


Throughout most of her history, Mystique has been a supervillain, founding her own Brotherhood of Mutants and assassinating several important people involved in mutant affairs. Mystique herself is a mutant, a shapeshifter whose natural appearance includes blue skin and yellow eyes. At one point, she mentions that she is over 100 years old. Mystique is the mother of the villain Graydon Creed, the X-Men hero Nightcrawler, and adoptive mother of the hero Rogue. She is forced to abandon Nightcrawler, but raises Rogue for a number of years, and the two women have mixed feelings towards one another.
Later, anti-mutant sentiment among normal humans rises and the federal government launches its own covert anti-mutant program, Project Wideawake. Believing that the times have become too dangerous for the Brotherhood to continue its criminal activities, Mystique goes to Doctor Valerie Cooper, special assistant to the head of the National Security Council, and offers the Brotherhood's services to the government. Cooper agrees to convey the offer to the President on the condition that the Brotherhood passes a test she imposes: the capture of Magneto. The Brotherhood, now renamed Freedom Force, succeeds in bringing Magneto to the authorities, though only because he voluntarily surrenders to them so he can go on trial for his crimes and soon afterward officially enter the government's employ.
Mystique is later nearly killed by Dr. Valerie Cooper, who is under the Shadow King's mental control. She then impersonates Dr. Valerie Cooper. Mystique is eventually discovered impersonating Dr. Cooper, and saves Xavier's life by killing the Shadow King's human host, Jacob Reisz. She finally reconciles with Rogue. In time, she comes to terms with Destiny's death. She teams with Spiral and Wolverine in thwarting Mojo's near-destruction of the universe. Mystique later briefly stays as a guest at Xavier's mansion. She begins going insane, and leaves the mansion under the care of Forge.




ANGEL SALVADORE


Angel Salvadore is fourteen years old when her mutation first manifests, and she is driven out of her home by her abusive step-father. The following morning, she wakes up in a cocoon. She emerges with a pair of insect wings. She is later captured by U-Men, humans who harvest mutants for their body parts for their own use. Wolverine rescues her from a mobile operating theater. He kills all the U-Men and offers to escort her back to Xavier's school. They stop at a diner along the way, which is a mistake as the owner is insane because of his fear of mutants. The owner attacks them when he sees Angel digesting her food like a fly.
At first Angel doesn't fit in well, especially with Emma Frost. However, Emma took Angel's attitude to be a challenge, instead opting to take Angel under her wing as a mentor and mold Angel into a sophisticated young woman. She later helps the X-Men fight the menace of Cassandra Nova by working with the Stepford Cuckoos and stealing needed DNA samples.
After accepting a bet to kiss Beak, her classmate in the Xavier Institute's "Special Class," Angel grew close to him, and they began to see each other romantically. Angel, Beak and the other Special Class students would be part of another confrontation with the U-Men, deep in the woods on the Xavier Mansion grounds. Angel is the only one to see Xorn brutally murder the U-Men. He convinces her to keep it their secret.
Later, Beak was made an X-Man and Angel and their children lived in a home on the Xavier property. Beak was then unhinged from time and joined the Exiles, ostensibly to prepare him for a future event during which several worlds will be threatened. As a result of this displacement, he was for a time unable to interact with beings from his home timeline, and Angel and their family believed him to have run away. Only by serving with the Exiles could he win them back.




AZAZEL


Azazel claims that many years ago an ancient horde of demonic mutants from biblical times called the Neyaphem were in an epic battle with a group of angelic over-zealous mutants, named the Cheyarafim. They were victorious in the battle and vanquished the "evil" mutants to an alternate dimension for all eternity. The Neyaphem's leader, Azazel, was the only one who was able to breach the dimensional void for brief periods of time due to his teleportation powers. His only hope to return to earth was by impregnating women because his children are linked to his dimension.
About twenty years ago, Azazel began mating with women who had strange appearances, at least with looks and abilities other women didn't have. He met Mystique in Germany, at the time she was married to a rich castle lord named Baron Christian Wagner, who was unable to give her children. When Mystique was introduced to Azazel, whom Christian knew as a business partner, she had an instant attraction to him. Although she was hesitant to betray Christian, she gave in to Azazel and they made love. Not much later, Mystique was pregnant with Nightcrawler. While Mystique had actually fallen in love with Azazel, he seemed only to be interested in impregnating her, but, in truth, Azazel found himself actually loving Mystique, making her the only woman he ever truly loved. Shortly after his "mission" was complete, Azazel left Mystique, knowing that she would be safe being the woman that she was.
Soon afterward, Mystique killed Christian and buried his body because he suspected her betrayal. A few months later, Mystique gave birth to a child. Due to the shock and the strain of the boy’s difficult delivery, Mystique lost concentration and accidentally revealed her true form. Considered a demon, Mystique was chased away by an angry mob. Barely escaping, she tossed the baby down a ravine. The child was teleported away, apparently by Azazel, and given into Margali Szardos’ care. Azazel had past relations with women before, resulting in the births of Abyss and Kiwi Black.
Azazel sired several dozen other children, who were all mysteriously called to gather and sacrifice themselves on the island known as the Isla Des Demonas. Doing this would open a portal and bring his army to earth to destroy the Cheyarafim, allowing the demonic mutants to live in the world and find their place in it. The mutant children worked together in a zombie-like state and opened the portal to Azazel's dimension, but the X-Men had followed Kurt to see where he was going and jumped into the portal. Once inside, Azazel took great pleasure in toying with the team, having them believe that he was actually Satan.




BEAST


Throughout his history, the Beast undergoes progressive transformations to his physiognomy, permanently gaining increasingly animalistic physical characteristics. These include blue fur, feline facial features, pointed ears, fangs, and claws. His physical power increases to even greater levels, as do his senses.
Despite his inhuman appearance, he is a brilliant man of the arts and sciences; he is a world authority on biochemistry and genetics, the X-Men's medical doctor, and the science and mathematics instructor at the Xavier Institute (the X-Men's headquarters and school for young mutants). He is also a mutant political activist. Fighting his bestial instincts and fears of social rejection, the Beast dedicates his physical and mental gifts to the creation of a better world for man and mutant. He also has a witty sense of humor.
One of the original X-Men, the Beast has appeared consistently in X-Men-related comics throughout the years. He has also been a member of the "all-star" teams the Avengers and Defenders.














EMMA FROST


An urbane, mutant telepath with a well-noted dry wit[1] initially known as the White Queen (complete with revealing white attire for which she is known), Frost has changed from one of the X-Men's most dangerous foes to one of its most central members.
Emma Frost was born in Boston, Massachusetts, to the wealthy Winston and Hazel Frost; she is the second of three daughters and also had an older brother, Christian Frost. Winston is cold, ruthless, and domineering, often imposing impossibly high standards on his children, while Hazel abuses prescription drugs to cope with the tensions of her household. Thus, Emma obtains no emotional support from her parents or her sisters Adrienne and Cordelia, but gets along with her gay brother Christian.
At her school, she is ruthlessly teased by the other students and has difficulties with her grades. She is supported by her teacher, Ian Kendall. After some time with headaches, her telepathic powers begin to manifest, allowing her to read the minds of other students and get answers to the tests. Because she is able to glean information, Emma becomes a tutor to other students and Ian recommends her to be a teacher, something Emma's father refuses.
On her way home from school one day, Emma's car breaks down and Ian gives her a ride home. After reading his thoughts and learning that he thinks she is beautiful and intelligent, Emma kisses him. Her sister Adrienne records it and her father uses the evidence to get Ian fired. Emma begins to fight back by revealing Adrienne's secret modeling career and taking pictures of her father with a mistress. Her actions intrigue her father, who says that she reminds him of himself at her age. Her father chooses her to carry on his fortune, but after seeing her father betray her trust and commit Christian to a mental institution following a suicide attempt, Emma rejects his offer and decides to make her own way in life.[10]
After a period of homelessness, Emma meets and falls in love with a young man named Troy, who agrees to let Emma live with him. She learns that he owes a large amount of money to a local mobster named Lucien. In order to save Troy's life, Emma agrees to participate in a fake kidnapping scheme in an attempt to extort the remainder of Troy's debt from her father. However, Winston refuses to pay the ransom, and Troy is killed while valiantly attempting to save Emma from an enraged Lucien. After disposing of Troy's corpse, Lucien's thugs handcuff Emma to a pipe and seal her mouth shut with duct tape, intending to kill her later. Adrienne releases Lucien's ransom video to the media, forcing Winston to pay for Emma's safe release. Not content with the money, Lucien still decides to kill her, but by using her powers, Emma turns the thugs against one another and then forces the remaining henchman to free her.

***
i used to collect x-men trading cards when i was in primary school. i think some of my cards are still around, back in the philippines. so you know how much i look forward to x-men first class.

still here. hey.

WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS OUT OF SINGAPORE FOR THE LONG WEEKEND, i am stuck at home, bored, penniless, hungry for some pasta, and watching crappy free movies online. although i have tons of work, my brain is on holiday mode, and so i am both feeling too tired and too bored to work.

i hate it when my brain says "beach party" but my pocket says "better stay put."
LOL i miss my wife's spaghetti.

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY, EVILREBORN.
Blow your candles on April 27th.

i miss the noir. some photos i took yesterday and the day before that.









i'll be out for visita iglesia today. i hope to shoot more pics.

it's almost 3am, and i'm posting on tumblr during good friday.
very un-religious. but i had to. i had an effing bad day yesterday.

i went to work earlier than everyone else. and i get a call that my kid needed to be rushed to the hospital. i go through my work, unfocused, for the duration of the day. then went to khatib for a 1.5-hour writing class.

the coordinator calls me along the way, and says that three teachers would come late - two of them got lost, riding the wrong bus and one was duped to believing there were no classes today.

at school, my kids didn’t listen to a word i said. everyone was on “holiday mode.” i ended up psyching the kids by doing a reverse rant - it’s saying that the situation sucks, but subtly in the reverse, like “this is the worst day of my life, thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience it,” then closing the statement with a smile.

none of the kids listened; no one even cared that i said my kid was in the hospital. there was a lot of bickering in class, since someone was picking on the kid who had mild autism. apparently, “someone” took his pen (eventually we found that he merely dropped it under the table. or did he?). i couldn’t finish any lecture, so i just asked them to write about some stuff. it was the worst class i had ever taught, since i broke all my personal principles: no ranting (reverse or otherwise); no loud voices; no pop quizzes when angry. i felt like i was one of the ‘terror’ teachers we might encounter in public primary schools in the philippines (or here).

i went back to the office an hour later, only to find out the milk brand lady hasn’t seen the advertorial we made the day after. i told her to have a look at it before we could run it to the printers. she comes back to me saying she wanted amendments. then she started asking why it ran for just one page. i tried explaining it to her. this i did while i was coordinating the amendments to the designer, measuring a packaging concept, and receiving a message from back home saying my kid had UTI.

my brain’s too fudged up, too tired as well. can’t even think of longer sentences. hearing people speak fragmented english is bad for the vocabulary. believe me, it’ll make your ears bleed. (and then they still give you a remark like, “you’re filipino right? too many R’s. that’s why can’t understand english lah. try to study OK?” then they give you the puzzled look. darn it.)

classic effing bad day.