ang katahimikan ng gabi
ang siyang pinakamahirap
sa isang bilanggo;
walang kasiguraduhan. walang kalayaan.
walang ligayang maaaring
asamin at pagdaka'y
iwan sa gitna ng kawalan.
hawak ko sa aking kanan ang
natitira ko pang pagkalango
sa alak at alaalang inakala
ko'y minsan pang bibilanggo sa
akin; nagkamali ako. matagal
na pala akong nakalaya;
nagpupumilit lamang akong magpaaliping
muli sa mga alaala mong
pinsa'y pumunit sa aking
pagkatao. katawa-tawa, kaibigan.
sino ba talaga sa atin
ang naging bilanggo ng katuwang?
ang totoo? hindi ko alam
kung saang lupalop ng daigidig ako
hahanap ng paliwanag sa
mga nangyari sa atin. magkakapatawaran
pa ba tayo pagkatapos ng
lahat ng ito? ewan.
ang katahimikan daw ng gabi
ang siyang pinakamahirap
sa isang bilanggo pagka't
walang kasiguraduhan. ni walang kapayapaan
mula sa sariling mapag-imbot
at puno ng sala.
My place. My nook. My home away from nowhere. Here where the sun thrives on my body's ink. Here is where evil is reborn. Eternally.
Jan 31, 2005
Jan 28, 2005
we cannot get much out of friendship
unless we are ready to forgive
one another of our little weaknesses;
but some mistakes are much too fun
to make only once.
today has got to be the busiest day that i've ever had. dammit.
had a class 7am at the Maritime campus, went back to the main campus for an 11:30 class, then went back to the former for a TOEFL class. geez. at least i got off the hook for the graduate seminar.
can you guess who i
am?
really;
look
over your shoulder,
peeking over
ev'ry move, step...
now do you see me?
alas, we are both blinded.
lights sparkle
as your eyes do;
love staged in
full circle, peppered
with tears of earth.
what life begins,
ends?
where kindred
meet, which kismet lie?
i have joined a new yahoo! group. pinoypoets. i hope they like my work.
i'm here. hey.
unless we are ready to forgive
one another of our little weaknesses;
but some mistakes are much too fun
to make only once.
today has got to be the busiest day that i've ever had. dammit.
had a class 7am at the Maritime campus, went back to the main campus for an 11:30 class, then went back to the former for a TOEFL class. geez. at least i got off the hook for the graduate seminar.
can you guess who i
am?
really;
look
over your shoulder,
peeking over
ev'ry move, step...
now do you see me?
alas, we are both blinded.
lights sparkle
as your eyes do;
love staged in
full circle, peppered
with tears of earth.
what life begins,
ends?
where kindred
meet, which kismet lie?
i have joined a new yahoo! group. pinoypoets. i hope they like my work.
i'm here. hey.
Jan 19, 2005
to whom little is given,
much is expected.
the school has denied my application for financial support for the thesis i am currently pursuing. man, that sucks big time. the mere fact that i am pursuing the thesis for the sake of the school's requisites for teachers with master's degree holders is diappointing in all its right.
the least that they could have done was keep my contract/application in the active file, but no, they had to return it to me and tell it to my face that they'd rather have me re-file it again for this coming june.
if you look at it, it's actually kinda convenient for me - no worries about a thesis that might take most of my time, all of my money, and take a big chunk out of my social life. great, right? nope. if i don't finish my MA by june, that'll get me into a heap of trouble.
accreditation's almost up, and they'll start needing more and more MA graduates (a CHED requirement for college instructors). if i don't get my graduate degree soon, that'll be the end of me (i know i've been saying that semester after every semester, but i think this june, it'll all come true). i don't want to herald the mid-year jobless. plus lately, i feel that i'm losing my charms at school. almost everything i do turns out mediocre for them. this is bad.
someone left this is my email. i would like to share it with you folks. maiba naman.
Fisting carries no risk of sexually transmitted disease (STD) transmission to either insertive or receptive partner if there is no exposure to blood or sexual fluids and if neither partner takes blood or sexual fluid into his/her body. Fisting presents greater likelihood of causing rectal or vaginal trauma than fingering.
Rimming carries a higher risk of transmission of other STDs, including hepatitis A. There is also risk of intestinal parasites, like cryptosporidiosis. Because of these risks, immunocompromised persons are suggested to avoid performing this activity.
Urinating on others is probably safe. Contact with urine of an infected person, either internally or externally, carries low to no risk of transmission of STDs. Urine (without blood) cannot transmit STDs. Taking urine into mouth or another orifice would be riskier if blood were present in urine and if there were cuts or sores in the mouth.
Ejaculating on another person is probably safe if there are no cuts or sores on his/her skin. Intact skin (no cuts or sores) is an excellent barrier to STDs.
Oral sex can be a risk for STD transmission. Transmission can occur if the mouth or genitals (vagina or penis) comes into contact with blood, sexual fluids, lesions (tiny red bumps, nicks or cuts, blisters), or the infected mouth or genital skin of a partner when he/she is not showing symptoms (asymptomatic).
wala lang.
the day is turning out to be rather shitty for me. let's just hope the weekend turns out okay for me. keep close.
hey.
much is expected.
the school has denied my application for financial support for the thesis i am currently pursuing. man, that sucks big time. the mere fact that i am pursuing the thesis for the sake of the school's requisites for teachers with master's degree holders is diappointing in all its right.
the least that they could have done was keep my contract/application in the active file, but no, they had to return it to me and tell it to my face that they'd rather have me re-file it again for this coming june.
if you look at it, it's actually kinda convenient for me - no worries about a thesis that might take most of my time, all of my money, and take a big chunk out of my social life. great, right? nope. if i don't finish my MA by june, that'll get me into a heap of trouble.
accreditation's almost up, and they'll start needing more and more MA graduates (a CHED requirement for college instructors). if i don't get my graduate degree soon, that'll be the end of me (i know i've been saying that semester after every semester, but i think this june, it'll all come true). i don't want to herald the mid-year jobless. plus lately, i feel that i'm losing my charms at school. almost everything i do turns out mediocre for them. this is bad.
someone left this is my email. i would like to share it with you folks. maiba naman.
Fisting carries no risk of sexually transmitted disease (STD) transmission to either insertive or receptive partner if there is no exposure to blood or sexual fluids and if neither partner takes blood or sexual fluid into his/her body. Fisting presents greater likelihood of causing rectal or vaginal trauma than fingering.
Rimming carries a higher risk of transmission of other STDs, including hepatitis A. There is also risk of intestinal parasites, like cryptosporidiosis. Because of these risks, immunocompromised persons are suggested to avoid performing this activity.
Urinating on others is probably safe. Contact with urine of an infected person, either internally or externally, carries low to no risk of transmission of STDs. Urine (without blood) cannot transmit STDs. Taking urine into mouth or another orifice would be riskier if blood were present in urine and if there were cuts or sores in the mouth.
Ejaculating on another person is probably safe if there are no cuts or sores on his/her skin. Intact skin (no cuts or sores) is an excellent barrier to STDs.
Oral sex can be a risk for STD transmission. Transmission can occur if the mouth or genitals (vagina or penis) comes into contact with blood, sexual fluids, lesions (tiny red bumps, nicks or cuts, blisters), or the infected mouth or genital skin of a partner when he/she is not showing symptoms (asymptomatic).
wala lang.
the day is turning out to be rather shitty for me. let's just hope the weekend turns out okay for me. keep close.
hey.
Jan 15, 2005
don't panic.
panicking never helps.
... FEARLESS
i was sweating like a pig in my black semi-suede polo yesterday.
anxiety was becoming the order of the day. to be honest i was up to my neck with negative vibes. dammit. my proposal defense. i didn't want to screw this up. not now.
i asked lil' john to accompany me to the state U. taws nice of him to oblige.
i also asked him to talk me out of my nervousness. i was starting to tremble.
i wouldn't have been trembling as much if i hadn't known that the chairman of my panel is the same guy i had friction with during my undergraduate thesis defense.
after the prayer, i was introduced to the panel (whom i have known since my early days at the state U). i offered a prayer, and then was asked to present my proposal. a few minutes in the discourse, the chairman walks out. i was petrified; i tried not to show any of the anxiety. the panel members motioned me to proceed. a few minutes later, he returned - smiling.
i was instructed to fast-track my discourse, and then was instructed to sit down. the nitpicking then started. well, almost none of my specific questions survived. they looked at how it was constructed, erased a few words, and placed new ones. where was i amongst all tghe chaos? in front of the panel chairman - staring blankly at him as my panel members defended my thesis for me...
yup, 'heard me right. they were defending my thesis for me. it was lucky for me that these people were all my mentors. they understood how i thought. one of them was one of my former thesis advisers; the other one my journalism guru; the other my research basics professor.
lil' john was smiling at a corner while he prepared dinner i asked diet's mom to cook. they all decided they'd take the food to go, and left. lil' john and i stasrted to deliberate. before leaving, one of my panel members offered to give me reading materials to add in my thesis. wow.
Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you
And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
SUNDAY MORNING
maroon5
now, i am tasked to informally interview 12 barangays out of the original five. after interviewing them, that's the only time i get to construct a questionnaire to suit them. i'm going to then have that validated, distributed, and applied with statistical treatments, i.e. the t-test and pearson r. what after? hopefully i'd still be alive.
tomorrow we parade the streets of batangas city. piyesta kasi.
hope i survive with brains intact. i'm still here.
hey.
panicking never helps.
... FEARLESS
i was sweating like a pig in my black semi-suede polo yesterday.
anxiety was becoming the order of the day. to be honest i was up to my neck with negative vibes. dammit. my proposal defense. i didn't want to screw this up. not now.
i asked lil' john to accompany me to the state U. taws nice of him to oblige.
i also asked him to talk me out of my nervousness. i was starting to tremble.
i wouldn't have been trembling as much if i hadn't known that the chairman of my panel is the same guy i had friction with during my undergraduate thesis defense.
after the prayer, i was introduced to the panel (whom i have known since my early days at the state U). i offered a prayer, and then was asked to present my proposal. a few minutes in the discourse, the chairman walks out. i was petrified; i tried not to show any of the anxiety. the panel members motioned me to proceed. a few minutes later, he returned - smiling.
i was instructed to fast-track my discourse, and then was instructed to sit down. the nitpicking then started. well, almost none of my specific questions survived. they looked at how it was constructed, erased a few words, and placed new ones. where was i amongst all tghe chaos? in front of the panel chairman - staring blankly at him as my panel members defended my thesis for me...
yup, 'heard me right. they were defending my thesis for me. it was lucky for me that these people were all my mentors. they understood how i thought. one of them was one of my former thesis advisers; the other one my journalism guru; the other my research basics professor.
lil' john was smiling at a corner while he prepared dinner i asked diet's mom to cook. they all decided they'd take the food to go, and left. lil' john and i stasrted to deliberate. before leaving, one of my panel members offered to give me reading materials to add in my thesis. wow.
Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you
And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
SUNDAY MORNING
maroon5
now, i am tasked to informally interview 12 barangays out of the original five. after interviewing them, that's the only time i get to construct a questionnaire to suit them. i'm going to then have that validated, distributed, and applied with statistical treatments, i.e. the t-test and pearson r. what after? hopefully i'd still be alive.
tomorrow we parade the streets of batangas city. piyesta kasi.
hope i survive with brains intact. i'm still here.
hey.
Jan 12, 2005
pain strengthens; love weakens.
- ja rule
i'm defending my thesis on friday.
dammit.
i just found out tuesday afternoon.
no preparation of any sort.
right after i submitted my questionnaire
and paradigm that very tuesday morning,
my adviser immediately scheduled me
for defense that same day.
Nobody knows
Just why we’re here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
Chorus:
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
‘Coz when nothing seems clear
You’ll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You’ll be safe here
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
Chorus:
When the light disappears
And when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything’s unclear
You’ll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
When the light disappears
And when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You’ll be safe here
When no one understands
I’ll believe
You’ll be safe,
You’ll be safe
You’ll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You’ll be safe here
YOU'LL BE SAFE HERE
rivermaya
to say that i'm nervous is the least
of the emotions rampaging me now.
just last tuesday there was this teacher
who insisted on using the laboratory
that very same afternoon
even if she just reserved it that very day -
the protocol being two days
before you actually use it. dammit.
the gf is going to tanauan
by this friday or early next week
to get her last pay at the school she
used to work for. i'm afraid that
the identically-named dean would
lurk around the corners and
try swooning my girlfriend
away from me again. let him try.
he'll get a piece of my fist.
i got things hurting me everywhere.
i think i got a problem with
my lungs - it's getting harder
to breathe in the morning (gotta quit
smoking); my right side is starting
to hurt (might be the appendix); and
my left side gets cramps every now
and then (there goes my liver).
i dunno if i'll ever feel safe, here or
anywhere else. i just hope i find refuge
somewhere i could be myself
and be loved for what i have become...
arggghh, cramps on my left side. liver.
dammit.
i'm barely here. hey.
- ja rule
i'm defending my thesis on friday.
dammit.
i just found out tuesday afternoon.
no preparation of any sort.
right after i submitted my questionnaire
and paradigm that very tuesday morning,
my adviser immediately scheduled me
for defense that same day.
Nobody knows
Just why we’re here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
Chorus:
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
‘Coz when nothing seems clear
You’ll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You’ll be safe here
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
Chorus:
When the light disappears
And when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything’s unclear
You’ll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
When the light disappears
And when this world’s insincere
You’ll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I’ll scream with you
You’ll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You’ll be safe here
When no one understands
I’ll believe
You’ll be safe,
You’ll be safe
You’ll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You’ll be safe here
YOU'LL BE SAFE HERE
rivermaya
to say that i'm nervous is the least
of the emotions rampaging me now.
just last tuesday there was this teacher
who insisted on using the laboratory
that very same afternoon
even if she just reserved it that very day -
the protocol being two days
before you actually use it. dammit.
the gf is going to tanauan
by this friday or early next week
to get her last pay at the school she
used to work for. i'm afraid that
the identically-named dean would
lurk around the corners and
try swooning my girlfriend
away from me again. let him try.
he'll get a piece of my fist.
i got things hurting me everywhere.
i think i got a problem with
my lungs - it's getting harder
to breathe in the morning (gotta quit
smoking); my right side is starting
to hurt (might be the appendix); and
my left side gets cramps every now
and then (there goes my liver).
i dunno if i'll ever feel safe, here or
anywhere else. i just hope i find refuge
somewhere i could be myself
and be loved for what i have become...
arggghh, cramps on my left side. liver.
dammit.
i'm barely here. hey.
Jan 9, 2005
don't tell me you're freakin' queer
and i won't beat the crap outta you.
THE LARAMIE PROJECT: Angels in America
sa tanang buhay ko bilang mananalaysay rito, ngayon lamang ako maglalahad ng ganitong uri ng damdaming tila patalim na umulos sa akin ng pagkalalim: masakit isiping sa unang pagkakataon, makalipas ang mahigit isang taon at kalahati, ay masasambit pa rin ang mga salitang di ko kailanman ninais marinig - sa iyo iyon, hindi sa akin. kahit kailan hindi ko inisip na masasabi niya iyon. subalit sinabi niya; at ang mundo ko'y nagunaw.
kumikitil ito ng aking damdamin.
matalas ang patalim.
malalim ang sugat.
walang pag-aalinlangan
sa pagdagok sa aking kaluluwa.
we were walking
quietly
along the paved
sidewalk;
talking
about things.
and then,
she pops
the question
about my investments;
i obliged.
and it was hell
freezing over
afterwards.
minsan ko lang sasabihin ito.
puta'ng ina.
ang sakit-sakit.
ansakit malamang
inaakala niyang hindi siya bahagi ng
aking mga pangarap; ng aking mga pita; at
pagdaka'y ano? pag-aaway;
bulyawan sa daan;
luha.
hindi pagkakaunawaan
at dagok sa sarili;
nawawala ako sa sarili
at hindi ko ito
maitago. puta'ng ina.
minsan iniisip ko
nagsasawa na ba ako?
sana hindi pa;
ayokong magsawa, pero
parang binibigyan nya
ako
ng dahilan.
puta'ng ina talaga.
i'm still here, i guess. hey.
and i won't beat the crap outta you.
THE LARAMIE PROJECT: Angels in America
sa tanang buhay ko bilang mananalaysay rito, ngayon lamang ako maglalahad ng ganitong uri ng damdaming tila patalim na umulos sa akin ng pagkalalim: masakit isiping sa unang pagkakataon, makalipas ang mahigit isang taon at kalahati, ay masasambit pa rin ang mga salitang di ko kailanman ninais marinig - sa iyo iyon, hindi sa akin. kahit kailan hindi ko inisip na masasabi niya iyon. subalit sinabi niya; at ang mundo ko'y nagunaw.
kumikitil ito ng aking damdamin.
matalas ang patalim.
malalim ang sugat.
walang pag-aalinlangan
sa pagdagok sa aking kaluluwa.
we were walking
quietly
along the paved
sidewalk;
talking
about things.
and then,
she pops
the question
about my investments;
i obliged.
and it was hell
freezing over
afterwards.
minsan ko lang sasabihin ito.
puta'ng ina.
ang sakit-sakit.
ansakit malamang
inaakala niyang hindi siya bahagi ng
aking mga pangarap; ng aking mga pita; at
pagdaka'y ano? pag-aaway;
bulyawan sa daan;
luha.
hindi pagkakaunawaan
at dagok sa sarili;
nawawala ako sa sarili
at hindi ko ito
maitago. puta'ng ina.
minsan iniisip ko
nagsasawa na ba ako?
sana hindi pa;
ayokong magsawa, pero
parang binibigyan nya
ako
ng dahilan.
puta'ng ina talaga.
i'm still here, i guess. hey.
Jan 6, 2005
ang tunay na pagmamahal
sa dilim lamang nakakikita.
it's been a while since i've actually blogged. i mean REALLY blog.
yapping has not been a strength recently. 'guess it's the work that's getting into me.
too much of it i guess. but i can't stop. not right now.
OUT-OF-THE-BLUE
* my brother won first prize in the inter-college academic competitions held today. i was pretty proud, but tried not to overdo it and shout ecstatically around the venue.
* i have become a chat addict pf some sort. for a quaint reason, i am now affined to the net, and all the nice people i meet here.
* i don't have enough money to finance my thesis. dammit, what's new?
* arnie's producing mr. l***** today, but i'm not watching. i feel like i have been bypassed one to many times; plus, i don't think i'm gonna enjoy watching anyway.
* dashi and chado are vying for the pageant tonight.
France Makes Homophobic Speech A Crime
(Paris) The French Senate Wednesday night gave final approval to legislation making it a criminal offense to speak or publish homophobia.
The bill adds sexuality to an existing law banning hate speech against other minorities.
Under the legislation, anyone who provokes hatred or violence on the basis of sex or sexual orientation could be fined up to $60,000 and be
subject to one year in jail.
The bill was fought by the Roman Catholic church which claimed it could be used against priests who speak out against homosexuality or to censor the Bible.
Despite the concerns of the Church, the legislation had little difficulty in the conservative dominated Senate. The bill which had been pushed by President Jacques Chirac gives France the toughest hate-crime law in the European Union.
French gay rights group Inter-LGBT hailed the vote as as a decisive step to combat growing homophobia.
The government drafted the law after a young gay man was brutally attacked. After he was beaten his assailants poured gasoline on him and set him on fire leaving him severely burned.
The bill was passed in France's lower house earlier this month. But, even with the backing of Chirac the legislation faced a barrage of criticism including some of the worst anti-gay remarks ever heard in the chamber - much of it coming from members of Chirac's own party.
good for them. i'm still here.
hey.
sa dilim lamang nakakikita.
it's been a while since i've actually blogged. i mean REALLY blog.
yapping has not been a strength recently. 'guess it's the work that's getting into me.
too much of it i guess. but i can't stop. not right now.
OUT-OF-THE-BLUE
* my brother won first prize in the inter-college academic competitions held today. i was pretty proud, but tried not to overdo it and shout ecstatically around the venue.
* i have become a chat addict pf some sort. for a quaint reason, i am now affined to the net, and all the nice people i meet here.
* i don't have enough money to finance my thesis. dammit, what's new?
* arnie's producing mr. l***** today, but i'm not watching. i feel like i have been bypassed one to many times; plus, i don't think i'm gonna enjoy watching anyway.
* dashi and chado are vying for the pageant tonight.
France Makes Homophobic Speech A Crime
(Paris) The French Senate Wednesday night gave final approval to legislation making it a criminal offense to speak or publish homophobia.
The bill adds sexuality to an existing law banning hate speech against other minorities.
Under the legislation, anyone who provokes hatred or violence on the basis of sex or sexual orientation could be fined up to $60,000 and be
subject to one year in jail.
The bill was fought by the Roman Catholic church which claimed it could be used against priests who speak out against homosexuality or to censor the Bible.
Despite the concerns of the Church, the legislation had little difficulty in the conservative dominated Senate. The bill which had been pushed by President Jacques Chirac gives France the toughest hate-crime law in the European Union.
French gay rights group Inter-LGBT hailed the vote as as a decisive step to combat growing homophobia.
The government drafted the law after a young gay man was brutally attacked. After he was beaten his assailants poured gasoline on him and set him on fire leaving him severely burned.
The bill was passed in France's lower house earlier this month. But, even with the backing of Chirac the legislation faced a barrage of criticism including some of the worst anti-gay remarks ever heard in the chamber - much of it coming from members of Chirac's own party.
good for them. i'm still here.
hey.
Safer Sex Factsheet 151:
Safer sex guidelines
Factsheets provided by New Mexico AIDS InfoNet
How does HIV spread during sex?
To spread HIV during sex, the HIV infection in blood or sexual fluids must be transmitted to someone. Sexual fluids come from a man's penis or from a woman's vagina before, during or after orgasm. HIV can be transmitted when infected fluid gets into someone's body.
You can't spread HIV if there is no HIV infection. If you and your partners are not infected with HIV, there is no risk. An "undetectable viral load" does not mean "no HIV infection." If there is no contact with blood or sexual fluids, there is no risk. HIV needs to get into the body for infection to occur.
Safer sex guidelines are ways to reduce the risk of spreading HIV during sexual activity.
Safe activities
Safe activities have no risk for spreading HIV. Abstinence (never having sex) is totally safe. Sex with just one partner is safe as long as neither one of you is infected and if neither one of you ever has sex or shares needles. (Even people who got a negative test result might be infected. They might have been infected after they got tested, or they might have gotten the test too soon after they were exposed to HIV.
Unsafe activities
Unsafe sex has a high risk of spreading HIV. The greatest risk is when blood or sexual fluid touches the soft, moist areas (mucous membrane) inside the rectum, vagina, mouth, nose or tip of the penis. These can be damaged easily, which gives HIV a way to get into the body.
Vaginal or rectal intercourse without protection is very unsafe. Sexual fluids enter the body, and wherever a man's penis is inserted it can cause small tears that make HIV infection more likely. The receptive partner is more likely to be infected, although HIV might be able to enter the penis, especially if it has contact with HIV-infected blood or vaginal fluids for a long time or if it has any open sores.
Safer activities
Most sexual activity carries some risk of spreading HIV. To reduce the risk, make it more difficult for blood or sexual fluid to get into your body.
Be aware of your body and your partner's. Cuts, sores or bleeding gums increase the risk of spreading HIV. Rough physical activity also increases the risk. Even small injuries give HIV a way to get into the body.
Use a barrier to prevent contact with blood or sexual fluid. Remember that the body's natural barrier is the skin. If you don't have any cuts or sores, your skin will protect you against infection. However, in rare cases HIV can get into the body through healthy mucous membranes. The risk of infection is much higher if the membranes are damaged.
The most common artificial barrier is a condom for men. You can also use a female condom to protect the vagina or rectum during intercourse. Factsheet 153 has more information on condoms.
Lubricants can increase sexual stimulation. They also reduce the chance that condoms or other barriers will break. Oil-based lubricants like Vaseline, oils or creams can damage condoms and other latex barriers. Be sure to use water-based lubricants.
Oral sex has some risk of transmitting HIV, especially if sexual fluids get in the mouth and if there are bleeding gums or sores in the mouth. Pieces of latex or plastic wrap over the vagina, or condoms over the penis, can be used as barriers during oral sex. Condoms without lubricants are best for oral sex. Most lubricants taste awful.
What if both people are already infected?
Some people who are HIV-infected don't see the need to follow safer sex guidelines when they are sexual with other infected people. However, it still makes sense to "play safe". If you don't, you could be exposed to other sexually transmitted infections such as herpes or syphilis. If you already have HIV, these diseases can be more serious.
Also, you might get "coinfected" with a different strain of HIV. This new version of HIV might not be controlled by the medications you are taking. It might also be resistant to other HIV antiretroviral drugs. There is no way of knowing how risky it is for two HIV-positive people to have unsafe sex. Following the guidelines for safer sex will reduce the risk.
Set your limits
Decide how much risk you are willing to take. Know how much protection you want to use during different kinds of sexual activities. Before you have sex,
* think about safer sex
* set your limits
* get a supply of lubricant and condoms or other barriers, and be sure they are easy to find when you need them.
* talk to your partners so they know your limits.
Stick to your limits. Don't let alcohol or drugs or an attractive partner make you forget to protect yourself.
The bottom line
HIV infection can occur during sexual activity. Sex is safe only if there is no HIV, no blood or sexual fluids or no way for HIV to get into the body.
You can reduce the risk of infection if you avoid unsafe activities or if you use barriers like condoms. Decide on your limits and stick to them.
Safer sex guidelines
Factsheets provided by New Mexico AIDS InfoNet
How does HIV spread during sex?
To spread HIV during sex, the HIV infection in blood or sexual fluids must be transmitted to someone. Sexual fluids come from a man's penis or from a woman's vagina before, during or after orgasm. HIV can be transmitted when infected fluid gets into someone's body.
You can't spread HIV if there is no HIV infection. If you and your partners are not infected with HIV, there is no risk. An "undetectable viral load" does not mean "no HIV infection." If there is no contact with blood or sexual fluids, there is no risk. HIV needs to get into the body for infection to occur.
Safer sex guidelines are ways to reduce the risk of spreading HIV during sexual activity.
Safe activities
Safe activities have no risk for spreading HIV. Abstinence (never having sex) is totally safe. Sex with just one partner is safe as long as neither one of you is infected and if neither one of you ever has sex or shares needles. (Even people who got a negative test result might be infected. They might have been infected after they got tested, or they might have gotten the test too soon after they were exposed to HIV.
Unsafe activities
Unsafe sex has a high risk of spreading HIV. The greatest risk is when blood or sexual fluid touches the soft, moist areas (mucous membrane) inside the rectum, vagina, mouth, nose or tip of the penis. These can be damaged easily, which gives HIV a way to get into the body.
Vaginal or rectal intercourse without protection is very unsafe. Sexual fluids enter the body, and wherever a man's penis is inserted it can cause small tears that make HIV infection more likely. The receptive partner is more likely to be infected, although HIV might be able to enter the penis, especially if it has contact with HIV-infected blood or vaginal fluids for a long time or if it has any open sores.
Safer activities
Most sexual activity carries some risk of spreading HIV. To reduce the risk, make it more difficult for blood or sexual fluid to get into your body.
Be aware of your body and your partner's. Cuts, sores or bleeding gums increase the risk of spreading HIV. Rough physical activity also increases the risk. Even small injuries give HIV a way to get into the body.
Use a barrier to prevent contact with blood or sexual fluid. Remember that the body's natural barrier is the skin. If you don't have any cuts or sores, your skin will protect you against infection. However, in rare cases HIV can get into the body through healthy mucous membranes. The risk of infection is much higher if the membranes are damaged.
The most common artificial barrier is a condom for men. You can also use a female condom to protect the vagina or rectum during intercourse. Factsheet 153 has more information on condoms.
Lubricants can increase sexual stimulation. They also reduce the chance that condoms or other barriers will break. Oil-based lubricants like Vaseline, oils or creams can damage condoms and other latex barriers. Be sure to use water-based lubricants.
Oral sex has some risk of transmitting HIV, especially if sexual fluids get in the mouth and if there are bleeding gums or sores in the mouth. Pieces of latex or plastic wrap over the vagina, or condoms over the penis, can be used as barriers during oral sex. Condoms without lubricants are best for oral sex. Most lubricants taste awful.
What if both people are already infected?
Some people who are HIV-infected don't see the need to follow safer sex guidelines when they are sexual with other infected people. However, it still makes sense to "play safe". If you don't, you could be exposed to other sexually transmitted infections such as herpes or syphilis. If you already have HIV, these diseases can be more serious.
Also, you might get "coinfected" with a different strain of HIV. This new version of HIV might not be controlled by the medications you are taking. It might also be resistant to other HIV antiretroviral drugs. There is no way of knowing how risky it is for two HIV-positive people to have unsafe sex. Following the guidelines for safer sex will reduce the risk.
Set your limits
Decide how much risk you are willing to take. Know how much protection you want to use during different kinds of sexual activities. Before you have sex,
* think about safer sex
* set your limits
* get a supply of lubricant and condoms or other barriers, and be sure they are easy to find when you need them.
* talk to your partners so they know your limits.
Stick to your limits. Don't let alcohol or drugs or an attractive partner make you forget to protect yourself.
The bottom line
HIV infection can occur during sexual activity. Sex is safe only if there is no HIV, no blood or sexual fluids or no way for HIV to get into the body.
You can reduce the risk of infection if you avoid unsafe activities or if you use barriers like condoms. Decide on your limits and stick to them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)