i don't know why, but most of my accounts start with "it's been a while." funny, but it always does seem like "it's been a while."
***
financially, we're kinda in a rut right now. i want to be honest to myself, and help myself accept that reality. sa totoo lang, minsan hindi ko na alam kung paano kami nakakakain ng sobra sa tatlong beses isang araw. i guess, it just goes to show that Jesus finds ways. and grace and i are thankful for that. ang hirap pala talaga ng may ginagatas. but we're coping, tsaka, iba pala talaga ang feeling kapag your child looks you in the eye, and smiles (or giggles!) nakakaalis ng pagod.
***
hindi pa ako nakakapag-enroll sa Ed.D. ko. grr.
gipit eh. so sue me, why don't you LOL
***
carla venice is celebrating her 3rd month this april6. yehey!
***
everyday, i'm trying to understand why life isn't as i planned after i saw carla for the first time in the nursery's viewing window. mahirap pala talagang maging ama. but i have to be one. the best one for her, 'cause grace and i are all she's got. and i don't let people down, especially my own daughter.
***
keep in touch.
hey.
My place. My nook. My home away from nowhere. Here where the sun thrives on my body's ink. Here is where evil is reborn. Eternally.
Mar 24, 2008
Mar 6, 2008
THOUGHTS
to be honest, married life isn't turning out as i expected. a after we got married, we started fighting even more. i mean, we fought every now and then. normal right? but lately we've been arguing almost everyday. just this night, for example, she came home late from a meeting with the bosses, tapos she accompanied a friend to robinson's. arriving home, i gave her the cold shoulder, when out of nowhere, she blurted out "sa totoo lang pwede ngang hindi ko sinabing sinamahan ko siya sa robinson's di ba?"
i mean, what the f*** is that? utang na loob ko pa na nagsabi siya? i have all the right to know where she is (i'm her husband, hello?), add the fact that babay venice was unruly and temperemental.
i feel like shit today. i'm planning to not sleep in our house tonight. dunno if that'll work out, because i don't have anywhere to go. f***.
***
today is baby carla venice's 2nd month birthday.
***
gawad masa is going down the hill. supposedly, we we're going to do the event at the Freedom Hall, but then a goddess contradicted, and claimed that no caterers were to be allowed to set-up at the auditorium. now they'll have to do gawad at the gymnasium - an awards night at 2.30pm. i'm so disappointed. so much that i plan not to attend. besides, there'd been instances before that the dept. chair wouldn't attend gawad. this wouldn't be the first; neither would it beimportant if i attend or not.
***
i don't feel as energized and motivated to go to work lately. i feel there's a bigger world outside the school that i could be a part of. i spent ten of my best years at the school. who knows, maybe i'm destined to spent the next 10 years somewhere else...
***
still here. barely.
to be honest, married life isn't turning out as i expected. a after we got married, we started fighting even more. i mean, we fought every now and then. normal right? but lately we've been arguing almost everyday. just this night, for example, she came home late from a meeting with the bosses, tapos she accompanied a friend to robinson's. arriving home, i gave her the cold shoulder, when out of nowhere, she blurted out "sa totoo lang pwede ngang hindi ko sinabing sinamahan ko siya sa robinson's di ba?"
i mean, what the f*** is that? utang na loob ko pa na nagsabi siya? i have all the right to know where she is (i'm her husband, hello?), add the fact that babay venice was unruly and temperemental.
i feel like shit today. i'm planning to not sleep in our house tonight. dunno if that'll work out, because i don't have anywhere to go. f***.
***
today is baby carla venice's 2nd month birthday.
***
gawad masa is going down the hill. supposedly, we we're going to do the event at the Freedom Hall, but then a goddess contradicted, and claimed that no caterers were to be allowed to set-up at the auditorium. now they'll have to do gawad at the gymnasium - an awards night at 2.30pm. i'm so disappointed. so much that i plan not to attend. besides, there'd been instances before that the dept. chair wouldn't attend gawad. this wouldn't be the first; neither would it beimportant if i attend or not.
***
i don't feel as energized and motivated to go to work lately. i feel there's a bigger world outside the school that i could be a part of. i spent ten of my best years at the school. who knows, maybe i'm destined to spent the next 10 years somewhere else...
***
still here. barely.
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