ang nakalipas na semana santa ay naging marubdob at kapana-panabik para sa akin. sa buong katotohanan, hindi naging madali ang buong linggong paghihintay sa muling pagkabuhay ng manunubos. naging kakaiba ang penitensyang aking kinaharap upang sa huli'y mabanaag ang liwanag ng bagong pag-asa.

lunes santo
martes santo
miyerkules santo
walang halos pinagkaiba
ang mga araw.

huwebes santo
init ng ulo sa magulang
luhang marahang humahalik sa
sahig ng mumunting langit
na siyang naging tanging kanlungan
sa piling ng pinakaiirog
ilang hagulhol pa't
muli na akong nakangiti.

biyernes santo
hindi ko inaasahang
makikita ko ang mga katagang iyon
na mamutawi sa iyong mga titik
kayhapding punyal itong
tumagos sa aking dibdib
ilan pang mga pagkakamali
ilan pang mga salitang hindi dapat
nasabi ngunit namutawi sa haraya.

sabado de gloria
unang hagupit
ikalawang pagkakadapa
may kung ilang masasakit na parirala
sakay sa traysikel, tinahak ko
ang daan tungo sa iyong tahanan
mdilim ang langit
nakikiayon sa
nananalaytay na hinagpis
ilang patak ng ambon sa aking bumbunan
at ilang pilit-lumalabas na mga krystal
mula sa iyong mga bintana
maya-maya pa'y oras na nang pag-uwi.

linggo ng pagkabuhay
ilang ngiti at manok sa mcdo
ilang patatas at tsaa
sumama ka sa bahay at muling
nagniig ang ating mga labi
at muling naghilom ang sugat.

sa ngayon.

Hearts gone astray, deep in her when they go.
I went away just when you needed me so.
You won't regret, I'll come back begging you. (mmm)
Won't you forget, welcome the love we once knew.

Open up your eyes, then you realise.
Here I stand with my everlasting love.
Need you by my side.
Girl to be my pride.
Never be denied everlasting love....

oh...

Hearts gone astray deep in hurt when they go.
I went away just when you needed me so.
You wont regret I'll come back begging you.
Wont you forget, welcome love we once knew.

Open up your eyes, then you'll realise.
Here I stand with my everlasting love
Need you by my side.
Girl to be my pride.
Never be denied everlasting love.

From the very start open up your heart, feel that you've fall in,
Everlasting love......

need a love to last forever.
need a love to last forever.
need a love to last forever.
need a love to last forever.........

I need a love to last forever

EVERLASTING LOVE
jamie cullum

kung bakit ako tumutula
a tribute to WORLD POETRY DAY

nuong unang panahon,
hindi ko alam kung bakit
kinailangan kong magtampisaw
sa kawalan ng aking mga pangako
at ngiti; matagal na akong lugmok
sa kalungkutan at unti-unti nang
namanhid ang puso't kaluluwa
mula sa mga paniniring ng iba. bakit nga ba
kakailanganin pang magsalita, gayung
katahimikan ang siyang hanap
ng aking sugatang puso?

nuong bago ang bukanliwayway,
tanging mga tula mo ang bumubuhay
sa akin; hindi ko alam kung
anong kuryente ang dumadaloy
sa aking katawan sa tuwing mamumutawi
sa iyong mga labi ang mga tugma't
hanay ng iyong kaluluwa. nuong maaari pa,
hinahayaan kong malunod ako sa iyong
mga impit at halkhak na iginuguhit
ng mga letra sa aking puso.

nuong magdadapithapon, mas pinili kong
manahimik ng pasumandali at namnamin ang
mga yakap at halik na iyong inialay
sa aking paanan; hindi miminsang inaliw ang sarili
sa iyong mga pangako at pagtatapat.
gayundin, hindi miminsang nagkubli sa dilim
na siyang iyong ikinagalit; bakit ayaw
mo sa dilim gayong pareho tayong mahilig
maglaro nang nakapiring?

bakit ako tumutula ngayon?
dahil wala na ang unang panahon.
wala na ang liwanag ng araw
sa aking hardin; at wala na din
ang mga nagkukubling anino sa likod ng
tahimik na kadiliman.
tumutula ako pagkat
wala ka na.

my sad excuse for a tanka. bear with me.

sometimes i would just like
to vanish into the mist and
not be seen for a while; bitter me
can't do that. i'm distracted;
you.

i don't know if that'll suffice. i hope it does. if it doesn't. well it's okay i guess. im not really the tanka-kind.

summer's breath calms me even more;
just last year, i had the ride of my life.
how often than not do i embark in
relentless ripples of tears and jaunt;
happy one time, sad the other.

autumn's leaves bless me endlessly;
i shudder at the hideous sight of me
scraping off dried memories off the pavement.
what miniscule animosity haunts me
almost everyday; wow.

winter's crisp air flips my hair from
side to side; when will it stop? when all
of my hair falls to the ground, and all
tears and hell break loose? i will not wait
for that time to come. i am too scared.

spring brings no new hope for
a dying poet as i; am i allowed to ask
for more than the Fates think
i need? can i? i shrug; i don't know.
i dare not ask.

Do not follow
where the path leads.
Go instead where
there is no path
and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

sometimes i would just like
to disappear into the mist and
not be seen for a while; bitter me
can't do that - because i
am too preoccupied with what
was in front of me.
you.

take me away; i would like to go
there where dreams are few
and the sun sets always. take me
there where my heart beats not,
and my breath is nothing but
a murmur in the wind. blind me there
where stars shine once every millenia and
realitites are but distant memoirs
of old men and even older memories.
you.

feel my chest throb of hunger
for your hands; how about a light tap
on the buttocks to affirm my
life's worth? or would you rather just
spend afternoons sitting by the
front porch, and talk about having a baby?
give me your hand, and let me massage
your palms until you begin to fall
asleep; don't be afraid of my light.
you. just you.

what is there to forgive?
i do not hold forgiveness over
anything nor anyone.

THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

1
once, i believed that mimicking
what seemed to be perfect was
the right thing to do. and so i
went out, put on a mask, and went
on to become who i have become
now.
pitiful, am i not?

2
come to think of it, i loathe
myself for not having put a
foot forward and blocking the door
that closed before me. sometimes, even
if i tell myself i am totally over
the terrestrial visionary, i look
at myself in the mirror and see
that i am not entirely truthful.

3
when things are down, and i have
NO ONE to turn to, i text you, even though
i know you will not reply back; i
dwell in the fantasy that
you may answer me back - the mere possibility
of a beep excites
me by the second.

4
what have you done to me?
i have forgotten about you, but it
still tickles my bones when i
think of the times we hugged severely
in bed - oh, that dastardly
lovable bed. it excites me to
remember the moans and groans, the smirks
and the flinching eyes. such sweet
coin-bank slit eyes.

sometimes i close my eyes at night and realize that life has never been perfect for me. not since you stood there in front of me, asking me to choose; and i did not.

for some wicked reason, people choose to not be who they really are, and instead let other people guess on their own. aye caramba!

we all live in the sanctuary
of a tranquil monastery
high above the Himalayas;
we thrive on the penchant
notion that life is a sacrifice
and that heaven is achieved
through a measly pile of coins
and candles set ablaze by faith
that is lost somewhere between
manila and the moon.

how irrevokably repulsive our idea
of reality is - that it does not bite
since it has no teeth; what shame
we befall on us all, thinking
that there is hope if we pray; that there
is life after death; that there is love
after foxes and pigs have fought
wars, died, resurrected and moved on.

come to think of it, we are all
hopeless romantics trying to relieve
ourselves of the assumption that love
exists for all; admit it now that we all
look for love that knocks us off
our feet, and yet find no belief in our
hearts that this love still exists.
we live in our own vacuum; relentlessly
searching, and yet not finding. why
is this so? because in our very souls
we doubt. and what existence is completed
if there is doubt?

my kids from FIRST PETER, kaye in particular, wrote this song after dreaming of the same dream for three consecutive nights. on the fourth night, she decided the dream had to be written in melody.
we all long for a special person to come into our lives and sweep us off our feet. too bad, sometimes the fall hits us hard, and gives us a big black-and-blue bump on the head.

first verse:
it's been three magical nights
i've been dreamin' about you
i was walking in the aisle
with flowers sprinkled with morning dew
full of white fog, bubbles and flowers
and butterflies playin' around
it's like an enchanted place
a castle, in dreams, i've found

refrain:
but there's more at the end of the waterfall
there's a man, prince-like, standing tall
as i take a closer step to him
i can see that he's the man of my dreams

chorus:
it was you, man of my dreams
here i am, take me my prince
it was you i have been longing for
take my hand, and open it's door

second verse:
then you looked into my eyes
and you started holding my hands
it's like a granted wish, by the fairy
from the magic wand
how i pray that this could all be true
wish it could happen, in real life

repeat refrain
repeat chorus

bridge:
i wish i'd never wake up
'coz only in my dreams (only in my dreams)
i can be with you (be with you)

coda:
it was you, man of my dreams
here i am, take me my prince
it was you, i have been longin' for
take my heart, and open its door.

MAN OF MY DREAMS
kaye of first peter

here's a listing i found at an online community i'm part of.

C - You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be
shy to show it.
A- You can be very quiet when you have
something on your mind.
R - You are a social butterfly.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
O - You are very open-minded.

V - You have a very good physical and looks.
E - You are a very exciting person.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break
S - You are very broad-minded.
O - You are very open-minded.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break

notice the emphasis on my love to work hehehe...

E - You are a very exciting person.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
R - You are a social butterfly.
E - You are a very exciting person.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
O - You are very open-minded.
R - You are a social butterfly.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break

===================================================

A- You can be very quiet when you have
something on
your mind.
B - You are always cautious when it comes to
meeting
new people.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you,dont be
shy to show it.
D - You have trouble trusting people.
E - You are a very exciting person.
F - Everyone loves you.
G - You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H - You are not judgemental.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
J - Jealousy.
K - You like to try new things.
L - Love is something you deeply believe in.
M - Success comes easily to you.
N - You like to work, but you always want a break
O - You are very open-minded.
P - You are very friendly and understanding.
Q - You are a hypocrite.
R - You are a social butterfly.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
U - You feel like you have to equal up to people's
standards.
V - You have a very good physical and looks.
W - You like your privacy .
X - You never let people tell you what to do .
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
Z - You're always fighting with someone

saw this posted at pinoypoets. kinda reminded me of someone. thanks for being my first terrestrial.

I hold in my hands
words where you've spilled
yourself for me
to see,
terms of endearment
that took me years
to utter,
the language of love
your tongue taught me
to speak.

Drinking my nth
bottle of San Miguel,
I realize
you taught me
a lot of firsts.
Beer, you said,
is an acquired taste.
Before you know it,
you'll forget
how the malt
even assaulted you
in the beginning.

Still scared shitless
of my lonely tomorrows,
I lit your letters
on fire,
watch the flames
eat away
the plains of paper
holding testimony
to our yesterdays
and swear

I shall forget you.

untitled
Kharla Alaba

i just need to let this out...

bakit ba lahat na lang ng tao gusto yung lagi akong nagagalit?! puta'ng ina, ano bang gusto nilang palabasin? ikaw na nga ito'ng hindi mapakali sa kaiisip sa kanila kasi anlayo nila sa iyo, tapos pabugsu-bugso po ang pagdedesisyon, at heto't sa akin nireresbak ang nararamdaman kong galit at pagtatampo.

mali ba ako? bakit? bakit hindi? puta'ng ina, ano ba talagang papel ko sa mundong ito? asawa ba? kasintahang pabaya? bawal na ba akong mag-alala? kahinaan ba ang mag-alala. gago! ansikip ng dibdib ko ngayon.

kusang bumubuhos ang damdamin ko ngayon. isinusulat ang lahat ng nararamdaman para naman mabawasan yung sakit na nararamdaman ko. paawa pa ba siya? ano'ng gustong palabasin dito? mali na naman ako? puta'ng ina! kahit kelan hindi na ata ako tumama ah! kelan pa? kapag nagising na ako?

natutulog nga ba ako? nagkukunwari? sinusubukang sagutin ang mga nagtatagong kalansay sa pamamagitan ng pagkukubli? hanggang kelan? aaminin ko, namimiss ko ang pakikipaghindutan kung kani-kanino. namimiss ko yung gabi-gabi, kung sinu-sino ang katabi ko sa kama. inaamin kong mahina ako.

puta'ng ina, mahina ako! hindi ko kinakaila iyon. kailangan ko ng karamay dito para lumakas ang loob ko! lahat ng namimiss ko, pilit kong kinakalimutan. bakit? kasi mahal kita, 'my! kasi mahal kita. ayos lang yung hindi na ako nakikipaghindutan kung kani-kanino. ayos lang iyong hindi kita nakikita kasi praning ang magulang mo. ayos lang na nahihirapan na ako sa siywasyon natin kasi anggulong kausap ng mga kapitbahay mo - kapag nakita mo, mabait; kapag hindi mo nabati, demonyo ang tingin sa akin. sino sila para magmalinis? puta, tantanan nila ako ha?!

lahat ng ito natiiis ko kasi mahal kita. kaya lang, baka naman pwede mo akong tulungan... hindi ko ito kaya nang nag-iisa. hindi ko kayang mag-isa. kaya nga lagi akong nakayakap sa iyo. kasi mahina ako... ano pang gusto mong gawin ko? ano pa?...

thanks. i needed that. it's so hard when you got no brotha to talk to about these things.