sa pagkukunwari
ng ating mga puso
mababanaag ang tunay na
katotohanang miminsang kumakatok
sa mga katulad nating
pinagdamutan ng langit,
ng bait, at ng pag-asa.

in life we come to a point where we realize that there is more to life than just good sex, good music and good company. for the past few days i have come to realize that there is more to life than what i've expected it to give me: someone to REALLY call my own, a bossom to rest my weary head at, a smile i could count on.
i have been haunted by many memories since time immemorial - from the atrocious days they called primary school, to the even more horrid highschool days often much too exhaulted and yet was not as jaunty as i had expected, to the promiscuous college and post college days - but i have but a few i truly cherish.
and although i reserve that i keep my most loved memories in the sanctuary of my solitude, i would like to extend my thanks to you who have made me smile, cry, love and survive through all the emotional tsunamis that have ravaged my soul: to my terrestrial visionary who now belongs to a vamp, you shall be forever etched in my heart and paper); to my lost-now-found princess, i shall keep you in my heart and make you as happy as i can; to my two-day relationships, thank you for the new perpectives on life; and to myself, thanks for the insanity.

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me

HERE WITHOUT YOU
3 doors down

laughter is the shortest distance
between two hearts.

i look into your eyes
and wonder if such beauty could
harm me. i asked myself
this question for over a
decade, and still get
no answer at the end
of it all. what frailty
succombs me when i
see such beauty? shaven atrocities
and vicious bitch fits
that cross out all of
who we were.

can such beauty
harm me? which dusk engulfs
that i do not ponder; lovingly,
i caress the little memory
you left in my arms. you
have chosen to minggle
with vamps and tigers, gray foxes
and spotted nostalgia. how weary
i have become.

hypocrisy. my harm
amidst your beauty.

the goal of poetry
is to humiliate shame.

the sea smells of you;
i drown in manic pungeance
that soothes the soul and
yet, i find no solace for having
to share you with another
whose senses you quicken
as well.

***

what pale halo of light
is cast on my soul; what
anguish yearns
absolution; what mockery
feeds my longing
for you?

funny
how the world finds ways
to jest our tiny souls.
what menagerie engulfs
putrid, wayward life; what
life breathes unto
soul-less bitches and
spiteful heart-shrinks?
i find no salvation in
your once sweet eyes -
now all i see is
repressed anger, hiding
behind even cuter smirks.

what pale halo of
strengthdo we find in
love lost, found, scathed then
forgotten altogether? none,
i believe
now.

what love wants,
love gets;
may it be pain,
laughter, or
a triviality.

it is the sunday before ash wednesday (no pun intended), and for some crazy reason, the people of lipa are celebrating the feast of saint john the baptist (which is originally set on the 24th of june).
women of all ages (well, mostly the teens and young adults) get splashed at with water that who knows where it came from. yup. this is fun at its finest in lipa.

***

suddenly i can't find the words to say what i feel. i'm in a rut. dammit.
see you in a few weeks i guess.

hey.

minsan kailangan
nating mapagod
para matuto
tayong bumangon;
minsan kailangan
nating masaktan
para umibig nang muli.
kakaiba ang mundong
ating ginagalawan
dahil hindi sa lahat
ng pagkakataon kung ano'ng
gusto nating mangyari
hindi ito
ang ibinibigay sa atin;
tawagin na nating parusa
o pag-iimbot
ng langit;
tawagin nang pagtatampo
o pakikibakang lipos
ng hilahil.
subalit ano'ng
kapaguran ang makapagsasabing
tayo'y nangangaiulangan
ng di lamang tubig na
maiinom,
kundi pati na rin ng
iilang pitang
sasagip sa atin mula sa
pagkakagumon?

[Intro:]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

[Chorus:]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

[Chorus]

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

[Chorus]

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

beautiful soul
jesse mccartney

i wish i had a beautiful soul. dammit. hey.

matalas ang hanging humahampas
sa aking mukha; nangungutya at tila
nagpapahiwatig ng di mabilang
na paniniring; ilang ulit pang
papailalim sa makamundong pagpapasasa
sa iyong mga alaalang walang
ginagawa kundi ako'y saktan?

makailang demonyo na ba ang kinailangang
ilagan?
ilang pakikibaka na ba ang pinagbuhusan
ng dugo't kaluluwa, awit at halakhak?
hindi ko na mabilang; ayokong magbilang.
hindi ako matematiko.

sa dulo ng walang patumanggang imperyo
ng yeso, ano'ng langit ang
naghihintay sa isang payak na
mang-uukit ng papel? anong liwanag
ang mababanaag sa lilom ng
iilang dahon ng pag-iimbot, pag-asa
at paglingap?

sa kamay ng imperyo, ano'ng langit pa
ba ang hahangarin gayung wala
namang nirvana'ng naghihintay? kakat'wang
mga kaluluwang binulid ng mga sariling
pita'ng minsan nang nakalimutan;
matampuhing langit! ano'ng kahungkagan
itong aking tinatamasa.

sa maramdaming agos ng
imperyong yeso ano'ng liwanag mayroon
sa mata ng isang sanggol
ng panulat?

write to me. hey.