i am getting overly tired over the kids just talking the walk and not the other way around. i am so pissed.

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"Magaling kasi ang convincing powers ko, sir."
- Project Head, GB

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last friday, a meeting with youthvote philippines and the SK councils of tanauan was set by the juniors. due to the heavy rains though, the meeting was cancelled; the kids re-scheduled it for today, monday. call time, apparently, was set at 8am since the coordination revealed that all the supposed attendees confirmed for the monday rendezvous. the project head was confident that the meeting would push through monday, since PAG-ASA advisories indicated that monday would be as sunny as it could get.

last night, he even SMSed that additional people were attending the meeting, which was in preparation for the campaign they plan to launch on july31. he also raised concerns because apparently, he forgot to reserve the venue for the monday meeting. i told him that according to the monthly schedule of facility-use, the venue was available. he promised to be at the venue by 6am. although i didn't fully believe him, i said great work, and slept.

lo and behold, arriving at 6.45am, i found myself alone in the venue. the kids were arriving one at a time. i said, okay. we still had time. as frustrating as it got, no one from the supposed people who confirmed attendance arrived. even worse, the project head arrived at 9.30am. lucky for him, none of the guests arrived. worst of all, by 10am when the postponement was announced, only a little over half of the juniors arrived- which leaves me the question, "ARE THEY UP FOR IT?".

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TIME AND AGAIN, i get frustrated over kids who promise to deliver, but fail in the end. i know i shouldn't have assumed anything, but these kids were getting praises from the dean and their former professor in INFOCAM, from which the project was an off-shoot.

i think the project is too big for them. and they can't step up the plate. but they're too INTO the project that they can't get out.

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SERVES ME RIGHT FOR TRUSTING THESE KIDS TOO MUCH in projects that are way above their heads. puro hangin. wala namang maibuga.

nakakapag-dalawang-isip na ito. hindi mo malaman kung talagang may natututunan sila sa akin. tapos tawanan pa sa foodcourt na parang walang nangyayari? bakit? do i have to do everything for them? what am i? their maid?!

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being uberly pissed, i would like to take the opportunity to say, "konti na lang, kapag napuno na ako, bahala na kayo." you have less than 30% of my patience left.

i don't think i can trust the juniors with another big project. not after making me realize they don't deserve it. masyado silang mahihina; matatalino nga, ang hihina naman ng loob. one year of building character was such a waste of time. dahil hanggang ngayon, THEY are ALL weaklings. i'm starting to think, feel, believe that i couldn't do anything about it anymore. because i have exhausted my energy, and i'm starting to lose hope.

MUKHANG WALANG MAG-OJT SA MAYNILA. KASI ATTITUDES PA LANG, BAGSAK NA. DAGDAG PA SILA SA MGA PERSONAL PROLEMS KO. DOESN'T ANYTHING TURN OUT RIGHT THESE DAYS?!

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downright frustrated. hey.