someone was pretty mad when they sent me this. couldn't blame them. twas my fault after all. but i'm not saying sorry this time. it's too late for that.

first of all, i did not judge you. i know
you the way i know you because that's how you've
presented yourself. you claim it's not just about the
urges, that it's something deeper than that, but i
know better. it's your nature. however, at the back of
my mind, i'd hope you'd find it in your heart to
change your ways but i guess that really isn't
possible.

whatever my friends do, i have complete
confidence in them. but i don't want any of them to
experience what i had with you. whether you were drunk
that night or not, i know for a fact that you'd still
have control over your actions. and you said it
yourself, if you can vividly recall (which i highly
doubt you can), you're one who can master yourself
under whatever alcoholic influence. i guess you'll
just have the alcohol as your convenient excuse. but
you can't fool me.

this all seem familiar to you? it should. coz we've been
through this before. and you never learn. you just
don't. but within the same context, neither do i. i
may not have given you the time to show me what you
truly are, and i'm sorry for that. but you really
haven't given me enough reason to do so anyway. that
part of me that sincerely wanted to get to know you
more and let you know me is slowly dying. i'd so want
us to be more than bitching shrinks but i feel that
things have jumped from complicated to chaotic.

and as for us and what we are, i don't know. bitchy
shrinks would do for now. i seriously would've fought
for you had you shown me you were worth fighting for,
had you made THAT choice. so if you're still wallowing
in sadness, the loneliness, your hell as you put it,
get outta there. you've no right to stay there. unless
you admit to yourself that you're a fish, i don't
think you can swim very far. catch my drift?

oh and by the way, i'm kinda annoyed how you use the
'ancient one out. blah blah ever.' ending all the time
for your blogs. unoriginal much? so sue me.

why did i have to post it? to remind me that we don't always get what we want. we don't always get what we think is right. but we definitely get what we deserve.
do i deserve this? i guess.

officiously yours,
oink oink.