you don't need to worry
i can do that for both of us.

today i celebrate
the year that was
without you in my arms
without your eyes in my heart.
that night i first
saw you in the sanctuary,
sparks flew the minute
you smiled; i was mesmerized
but took a while before i
actually realized that
i loved you, at first sight.

tonight i remember the jeers
that we had, from that fateful night
of talks and coffee; i understand
the hesitation when we started talking.
you didn't want me to know
that our paths were destined
to cross, and separate; and yet,
we ventured into the night
and embraced whatever magic
befell us. did i not smile back
when you asked where to?

this month i bid adieu
once more to the life that i left
behind the closed blue door
now filled with nothing but the
memories of moans, and the foresight
of longing. you long not
for me anymore; your house is now filled
with a different scent. mine
is not your parfum no more; but it used
to be your favorite. darn mornings
that hurried me home. i shouldn't have
answered that call.

can i wait another year
to say goodbye to you? please
don't ask me that question ever
again; since you've chosen and i
have not. what answer do you seek
from me? i know
that you are happy in his arms
and i am saddened still by
the gloating remnants of what
used to be our day
our night
our month
but not our year.