i will always be spiderman;
and you and i will never be.

forever bound by webs of regret
and marauded by enemies
whose powers are far beyond
those we could comprehend.

but who are we to question?
and how?
while swinging from building to building?
swooping down skyscrapers
and peeping through windows
of strangers that make us feel welcome.

we will always be spidermen;
and you and i will never be.

how sad, this life can be for us
who have chosen to not choose;
insterad, we have let the fates
do the choosing for us.

we will always be spiders trapped in little nests
of webs and lies
of love and those lost
of tears and smiles
of bunwich and foxes that live up to their name
and what at the end of the day?
snoring together while talking to old friends
and enjoying it.

i will always be spiderman;
and you and i will never be.

i just have to live with it.
even if i haven't accepted the reality
that you have moved on.

***

'JUST GOT BACK FROM WATCHING SPIDER-MAN 2.AND I HAD A BLAST. FEARLESS WAS RIGHT. IT WAS BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE. THE ONLY REGRET THAT I HAD WAS THAT I DIDN'T WATCH IT THE FIRST TIME IT CAME OUT.

CURIOUS, THOUGH. THE WORDS STUCK TO ME LIKE GLUE. AND I GOT TO THINK ABOUT THINGS. A LOT OF THINGS. SOME THINGS I THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT. OR LEAST SHELVED FOR A EHILE. WHAT ATROCITY THIS LIFE I LEAD. AND WHAT HURT I BRING TO SO MANY PEOPLE SIMPLY BECAUSE I COULD NOT TAKE OFF MY OWN SPIDER MASK.

BUT UNLIKE SPIDERMAN, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS. BECAUSE THIS IS THE SPIDEY THAT I AM. THIS IS MY GIFT. THIS IS MY CURSE. WHAT LITTLEST INTELLIGENCE THAT I CLING TO IS USED FOR WHAT LITTLE GOOD I COULD GIVE BACK TO THOSE WHO ONCE BECAME BIG PARTS OF MY LIFE. PARTS THAT I BROKE. SHARDS EVERYWHERE; YET THEY HAVE FOUND WAYS TO GLUE BACK THEIR SUITS, AND LIVE AGAIN. ME? HAH!

I AM NO FRANKENSTEIN. I AM SPIDERMAN. LOST IN THE ABYSS OF REGRETS OF NOT ACCEPTING THE GIFT THAT I HAVE. INSTEAD, HAVE CHOSEN TO LIVE A CURSE, KNOWN ONLY TO A FEW. WEDNESDAYS HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPY THOUGH. BUT MY SPIDER'S CURSE HAS MADE THEM EVEN WORSE. NOW THAT REALITY IS KICKING IN WITH A BIG WHAM, WHAT FATE AWAITS THE TIMID SPIDER?

I DON'T THINK THE FATES COULD SAVE HIM RIGHT NOW. NOT EVER. NOT UNTIL HE FINDS PEOPLE WHO WOULDN'T TELL OF HIS CURSE, AND YET ACCEPT THE YOUNGIN' THAT HIDES BEHIND THE MASK. THE KID THAT ISN'T EVEN OLDER THAN ANY MAN'S SON. THAT MAN WHO HAS AN ITCHY CROTCH BECAUSE OF HIS SUIT. AND HIM WHO REALIZES THAT LIFE IS FILLED WITH WEBS ALL INTERTWINED AND YET, LOOSE AT SOME ENDS, BECAUSE THE STRINGS HAVE DECIDED TO LET GO. INTENTIONALLY.

ancient one out. in the rain.