JUST WHEN YOU THINK THINGS WOULD GO OUTTA HAND, the Lord brings sets ablaze a new torch.

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i went to both batangas state university and to lyceum-batangas today to get certifications for a plan i crafted a couple of weeks ago. after the long queues at the registrar's office of both schools, i went to meet with some former students, and a former VP for a local bank.

armed with tall cups of frappe (with the exemption of the boss who went gaga for hot coffee), we talked about a series of projects that we could do, as a team - mostly logistics, production, staffing and a lot of traveling.

the venture was the creation of a consultancy-cum-outsourcing production firm. apparently, the boss had a large network of international NGOs who were looking for development writers and producers to do their legwork, paperwork and what have you, for them. that got me interested.

the boss was an economics graduate from the visayas, who had a son who was now taking up ABCOMM at DLSL. he is currently working for a micro-finance firm that is based in paris. he also did development work, mainly reconstruction and planning, for pakistan and afghanistan.

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the venture got me into thinking: why the F*** did i ever stick to teaching when i could have gone to development work right after a few years in the academe? when you look at it, i was only after the confidence that teaching brought to those who decide to tread its path. three, four years in the academe, and i could have gone to the NGOs or the mainstream. bottomline: i chickened out.

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so where do i go now? i'll have to leave everything behind for a while, find a restive location, and nestle myself in daunting thoughts of realizing my full individual potential. and then i'll hear myself shout these words, amidst all the silence:

damn it, i am not just a teacher. I am a writer, a poet, a production man, a disk jockey, a scriptwriter, a researcher, a damn good cook, a singer, an organizer, a development worker, a community organizer, an events manager, a technical and floor director, and whatever other job i would discover that i could do.

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i can't wait for february 1.