HELLO-GOODBYE IS SUCH A BORING WAY TO BE SAD.

a friend of mine just texted back when i hollered about the changes i made in the blog. apparently he was on the road with his girlfriend's parents; they just sent her off to oman. my friend was telling me he didn't know what he was going to think of now that his girlfriend was away. that got me thinking too.

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i'll be leaving in about two weeks and i still can't sleep at night. months ago i told myself this would be the only way to relieve me of the depression i've been festered with for the past few months, after i was asked to leave teaching and was advised not to teach anytime soon. but now that the flight sched is nearing, i've been having more sleepless nights.

now every opportunity to laugh it out with carla is a blessing for me. every hug from grace counts. i feel like i won't be coming back home any time soon. and who knows, maybe i won't come back anymore. i'd like to blame the circumstances for this, but i don't want to. there's someone else to blame for this. and i guess i'm not off the hook either.

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let's be honest. yes, i still have a grudge against them. they had to press it down so hard that i wasn't much of a teacher, let alone a facilitator of learning. they had me realize i was inefficient, that i was too dumb to involve the kids. i am still bothered that they escorted me out of the campus. i hate them for that. wait. hate is such a conservative word. i'll have to check webster on a more appropriate term.

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when i leave, i hope things will be better. for everyone. i hope i forget i ever was part of that school. my former logic professor was right. i shouldn't have come to the school in the first place. it was indeed a place where your monsters came alive in gargantuan proportions.