parine ka
sinsay muna
akapin ang umagang
luha man ang dala'y
may liwanag pa din; kahit pa
pita mo'y lugmok,
walanag saysay- pulos dusa.
oy, parine ka't
sinsay muna.

it has been a while. lotsa things happened.
fights. OTHER fights. other people. other hearts.
more tears. more sweat. lotsa other fights.
lotsa other things. gibberish, i know.

losing people is something i'm an expert at.
deember's coming up; i just hope i don't lose everything.
i hope i don't lose my sanity.

i have nothing to talk about other than
things that should not be talked about-
now i'm starting to feel like my capacity to move people
is slowly diminishing; that i might not be the same as before.
i've become more indifferent, at times; i hate it.

i don't know how this'll continue.
she's right. i AM not fully happy.
i dunno when i'll see more smiles than indifference.
hopefully, soon.

the bellfry cries of the widow's song;
she weeps for the vestment that walks the night-
all billowy, soft and yet
scathed by tears, scars, shrieks, love, defiance.
hail, the bellfry kisses the night;
she wails for reality that never was.
she slithers into the sand, not knowing
the sand is quicken; it shows no mercy.