- you have no right
to sshh me anymore.
- that was hurtful. but i guess
it's true.

i just finished writing my tenth book on poetry entitled KAWALAN. if you like, i can lend it to you. will just have to have it bound.

was talking to 'tales the other night about a seminar-workshop on leadership and values formation that i was organizing for the new dj hopefuls this semester. it was not very pleasant for both of us - he was having a shitty day, and i was feeling the negative vibes all over mcdonald's.
i understand that he woke at the wrong side of the bed (his bed has only side to roll out from. i should know. i've slept over his place a couple of times), but i couldn't get over the feeling that it was my persistence to see him as the reason why he was having a shitty day.
i guess i'm being paranoid again. and blaming everything on me. you know me. when things go wrong, i blame it on me. i wouldn't want to admit it, but i am. messiahnic. dammit. he confirmed it din.
we did have light moments. but not that much. i am glad he's having a great time with jay. i'm actually excited he's gonna pounce, err bounce, after the three months of no-sex is up. and that jay was anticipating every passing day till christmas comes. he's in for a handful this yuletide.
but i felt he was reluctant to help us out this time, after what happened. (or maybe it's just me thinking he was) and to think i forgot about what DID happen, dismissing it a part of the closure. i guess things like that don't become parts of closure. they become parts of lines drawn.
he's becoming very busy again, and so have i. i guess me inviting him over for the seminar is too much to ask for. i'm sorry if i'm being an inconsiderate jackass again, but i'd like the new kids to experience having him as a friend as well.
it's hard thinking that things like another misunderstanding that arose from a closure could affect who and what we are as friends. i hope we have become friends after everything. 'least quasi ones.

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

And we're you're down and feel alone,
And want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,

Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday,

Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

Any moment, everything can change.

FLY
hilary duff

i'm trying to stay awake.
hey.